Hash #490

The Pack: Sunday Semen, Choka Cola, Hairy Potter, Pixellated Obscenity, Vince LamBlowMe, Hugh Heiffer, Puff The Magic Drag Queen, Cum Lord, Goldie Cox, Serial Box, Lube Me Up Scotty, Snatch.cum, Timmy!,  Jack Off On The Pot, Tiny Whiny Bitch, Rod Lover

The Justs: Just Joaquin

The Virgins: Virgin A.J. (Andrew Joseph Francis Hoffman.)

The Hare: dBASED

The Convocation

We all gathered at Riva’s Steakhouse on the Santa Cruz Wharf. Thankfully, there wasn’t a big pack this time, mainly because we’re all too cheap to pay the toll to park on the wharf.  The great thing about Riva’s Steakhouse is the view that it affords of the Lighthouse and West Cliff Drive. The sun was setting  right when it was time to:

Circle Up!

Okay, so we circled up and introduced ourselves. Then it was time for:

On-On!

dBASED was the hare for this one. It was a last minute thing: Snatch.cum sustained an injury to her foot which put her out of commission for haring.

Since we were at one end of the wharf, we quickly deduced that the trail was going to lead to the other end of the wharf where it connected with land (this is pretty good reasoning for a bunch of sorry shits such as us!), so we made our way to the end of the wharf where we found a check.

Want to know how to seriously fuck up the Santa Cruz Hash House Harriers? Just throw down a check. It works every time! It was so effective, that we didn’t even bother with running the proper trail, we all turned left, and headed up West Cliff Drive until someone cried “On-On!”

We didn’t even realize that we had cut out a good third of the trail—it ran under the wharf and onto the beach, then doubled back—until we found dBASED at beer check. He was more than happy to tell us about our goof.

(He said that he wasn’t worried about being caught, however, because none of us would ever have the ability to run him down.  That’s why for every time that dBASED is hare, I’m bringing a gun. A good leg wound ought to put a hitch in the fucker’s giddy-up.)

Anyway, trail wound up West Cliff Drive and finally ended up at Pelton Street where a group of us ran into a back check.  The trail then zig-zagged around Lighthouse field, and led us to beer check which was behind the back-check that was laid down on Pelton Street (actually quite devious of D-based, wasn’t it?)

After beer check, we all meandered our way back to religion. I walked with Rod Lover and Tiny Whiny Bitch, who were holding quite an interesting conversation regarding the different architectural aspects of the houses that we passed along the way.

Religion

Religion was held at the train tracks across the way from the wharf where we started from. By the time RodLover, TinyWhiny, and myself made it, we found that we were dead fucking last.

The following was the down-downs for the night (Snatch.cum was beer fairy):

• Vince LamBlowMe, for not paying attention.
• Just Joaquin, for being stupid enough to come again. He has no idea why he came back and neither do we.
• Hugh Heiffer took a down-down by proxy for Sunday Semen’s dog, Cheerio.
• Puff, Vince,Jack off On The Pot, and Hugh Heiffer, for participating in Slosh Ball.
•  Hairy Potter, for having 3 more weeks as RA.
• Tiny Whiny Bitch, for bragging about his trail that ran through the river, up the mountain, etc.
• Virgin A.J. because he’s a virgin. The boy started drinking at 3 in the afternoon, so he was pretty well on his way by the time religion rolled around. He opted to show his dick, that was shaved clean by his girlfriend earlier in the day. He was inspired after seeing us at the Poet and the Patriot, and thought it’d be fun to drink and run.
• Sunday Semen and Puff, for having a private party.
• dBASED, for being the hare.
• Vince, again, for not shutting the hell up.

That’s all for now.

~O’Holy Nutz

Be first to comment this article

Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment Tweaked Special Edition v.1.4.6
AkoComment © Copyright 2004 by Arthur Konze - www.mamboportal.com
All right reserved