"Because of a bad economy, Santa has had to lay off a good portion of his workforce, therefore he relied on SurfCity Hash to come through with toy donations for those kids in need."

Hash #498 Toys for Tots

The Pack: Puff The Magic Drag Queen, Pixellated Obscenity, d-Based, Cumz Out My Nose, Broken Shaft, Timmy!, Ralph RU CrammedIn, Dr. Nappy Headed Ho, CSI, Choka Cola, Hairy Potter, Zipper Lips, Cuff My Muff, Last Call Norm, Pearl Necklace, Finger Nips (yay!), Tiny Whiny Bitch, Charlie’s Ho, Vince LamBlowMe,  Butt Balls, Serial Box, Maple Muff, Goat Blower

The Justs: Sabrina, Sheila, Brian

Location: The Crepe Place

The Hare: Banana Basher

The Convocation

Because of a bad economy, Santa has had to lay off a good portion of his workforce, therefore he relied on SurfCity Hash to come through with toy donations for those kids in need. Which is great, because we really kicked ass in the toy donation department. Thanks to all who brought toys! All of ‘em  were stacked on a table, a few pictures taken for posterity’s sake, and then it was off in the rain for…

Circle Up

We bagged all of the toys, walked out back to the parking lot and threw them into Banana’s truck. Introductions were made, and because it really started to rain, and we were all getting pretty fucking drenched, we got on trail, fast.

On-On!

I discovered something during this night: It’s hard to write in a downpour! Afraid that the rain would blot the words in my book, I put away pen and book, and concentrated on hashing.

Nothing special on this trail (because it was raining, Banana kept it short) although there was a great moment when HughHeiffer stepped right into a puddle, thereby soaking her shoe (her cursing was educational, to say the least). After a few twists and turns around Seabright Avenue and the surrounding area, we found ourselves at

BeerCheck

BeerCheck was held at Banana’s house. After grabbing beverages of choice, we all piled into Banana’s party pad. It was quite impressive: 6 big screen TV’s for watching Football Games, or porn, or whatever else, and what looked like a fully stocked bar.  Hashers filled up the two couches set perpendicular to each other.  Because everyone was so cozy, CSI decided to have the naming ceremony now, instead of at religion, therefore:

·         Just Sheila became MovingViolation, for having sex in a car that was getting towed.

·         Just Brian became PrematurePasteurization, for sticking his dick into a cow while on an 8^th grade field trip, or something like that. I’m sure that PETA is looking for him even as I write this.

·         Just Sabrina became CluckerFucker, for something about a chicken coop, and a voracious appetite for cocks.

Religion

After the naming we all trooped back to the Crepe Place parking lot for religion. It was still raining, of course, so everyone was cold, wet, and truly wanted it to be over with fast.

The following people were slated for down-downs.

·         Banana and RalphRUCrammedIn, for wearing kilts. Ralphie went home (pussy), so Banana bravely took the down-down on his own.

·         Puff, for committing to short-shorts ( Ocean Pacific’s, of course).

·         CumzOutMyNoze, for calling a hasher by her mortal name, Felicia.

·         FingerNips, and IcyJackAss, for backsliding.

·         All the newly named folks (see above).

·         Choka and HairyPotter, for backsliding. To which Hairy observed “Why the fuck should I show up? I’m not RA anymore!”

·         BrokenShaft, for having the worst hat of the night (Santa stuck in a chimney).

That’s all for now,

~O’ Holy Nutz.

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