Preamble: So it’s the day after Ralphie's birthday and somehow I am shocked that none of the people who I told or even noticed on the web site ratted me out. I mean seriously I'm not going to have a birthday on a Hash day until 2012. That’s 5 fucking years away. The worst part is trail was so long that I didn't even have the chance to go out and get drunk!!! So to remedy that problem I'm going to change my birthday to today, Friday, so that after I write this while slacking off at work, I can go home and get truly shithoused since Ralph doesn't get near a bus Saturday or Sunday. Oh and if any of you grammer-tossers get after me for writing run-on sentences you will be targeted for future trashes. You have been warned.

So the following souls shivered while drinking the warming elixir of cold beer on the shores of Moron Lake: Goat Blower, Finger Nips, PCP, Jack-Off on the Pot, Jordass for Men, Vince Lamblowme, LC Norm, Pearl Necklace, Timmy!, Hugh Heffer, Banana Basher, Pussy Sipper, Spooge Bath, Serial Box, Rod Lover, Pixelated Obsenity, Puff The Magic (blah blah), HogaZm, Harry Potter, TBO, Just Dylan, Pussy Galore, Tater Tits, Dangling Mantasticals, Lady Go-Dive-On-It, Just Kelly, Just John, Virgins Adrienne, Nate, and Carina.

If you are wondering who Just Kelly is she is Hasher that appeared around the time of Jizz Bollah. Although she has probably accrued enough hashes to be named she very quietly exits stage-right before religion and her naming. Talk about cold feet! Today her excuse for coming is her co-worker Jizz has been giving her shit for not CUMMING-out and to which she follows up with her excuse for leaving which is to catch a movie (one which I thought was lame; hence seeing no need of making note of it). And since I am on the offensive who else is gonna get it this time...oh yeah.

V-I-N-C...you know I'm getting tired of you spelling your name to me. From now on you will be referred to as PABST Lamblowme. Good thing Daddy Warbucks sent that PBR alert. Who wants to guess PABST is going to be walking into Longs downtown at 12:01am and buying out their supply.

On to trail, TBO is awarded the Caltrans-vestite for backsliding and we are on out. We are greeted early by a Turkey/Eagle split. And eventually are led back to 26th Ave where we find a check in front of Kongs Market when Spooge Bath who to took the Turkey trail meets us making the trail confusing. Eventually we figure out the Spooge was playing the part of the Lost Hasher and find trail South on 26th Ave and find trail down to the beach.

Beaches still draw up bad memories for a few of us. There is nothing like a flashback to Piss 'N Booths death-trail. Long story short we end up back on East Cliff again when trail heads up a private drive past an older guy that resembles Daddy Warbucks finding a check once we reach Portola. We picked up trail down Portola until we reach 30th Ave. Up 30th we discover trail heading down the railroad tracks. There goes the second flashback of the night. Could we be taking the tracks into Seascape again? Why would Jizz Bolah punish us this way? Well fortunately we find another check at 38th Ave which takes the exhausted thirsty pack to Portola AGAIN! How many damn times are we going to see that damn road? And where is the beer? The hares thought it would be cute to leave a check in front of Frenchys. Perhaps this is why we were supposed to dress for pleasure...no it wasn't because trail went past Frenchys, past the area that the Beer Check was held at the week prior and on down East Cliff (AGAIN). Apparently last weeks trail involved a stop-over and Jizz and Cumima's house. I wagered it a likely location for their beer check but no one I was with did trail the day before. Somewhere along the way I hear Glazed Hole yell "Beer Near" and then get pulled down 36th Ave by Bo the Beer Sniffing Dog. After some mild confusion as to which street Glazed went down we find the beer. While at the Beer Check I overhear Banana flatly denying that he was FRB to the Beer Check and then tries to get Dangling Mantastical to lie but I don't believe either one.

On our way back to religion I notice PG and Goat Blower in PGs car. I accused them of Autohashing. What’s PG's excuse? They were having "goat food".

PCP gets nominated to be beer fairy.

Hogazm is up first for fighting Zombies because Glazed Hole and Banana were too drunk to fight off the Zombies and something about the Zombies having trouble eating Bananas brain's...it was either because of a thick head or not enough brain matter to properly feed a pack of drooling brain-hungry zombies.

Just Dylan’s naming came up next. The pack couldn't come up with much given his history of working at Costco and being TBOs boyfriend. Finally a stain on the front of his pants lead to the name Protein Stain.

Just Jason was next up on the named round. Out of a suggestion by Cum Lord, it was noted that he resembles a pirate. Needless to say Captain Jack Swallows was a very appropriate name.

Finger Nips is next for the only Hasher dressed for pleasure and is awarded a cock-shaped lollipop. Timmy! is also called up because has a headlamp for...nevermind but he is given a testicle shaped lollipop.

Virgins were next. Virgin Nate gets out from the RAs wrath by telling the joke "Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Cause they taste funny." Har har har. Virgin Carina is next and does some strange dance number.

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