Damn holidays are past.  I’m behind on my Trashes.  But really who’s noticing right? RIGHT?!?!?

Trail was cold.  Trail sucked.  Trail marking reeked too much like an SFH3 trail [no…not Finger Nips].

Fools who decided to pay $5 for the pre-Christmas romp were Virgin Rob, Duhhh!, Captain Jack Swallows, High Heifer, Timmy!, PABST Lamblowme, Pussy Sipper, Mrs. Groper (who claims she is NOT hashing), Dr Nappy Headed-Ho, Swiss Army Cock, Pixilated Obscenity, Banana Basher, Jordass for Men, Serial Box, Last Call Norm, Pearl Necklace, PCP, Puff MQD, TBO, Pussy Galore, Cum Lord, dBased, Hot Wheels, Little Spit, Harry Potter, Daddy War Bucks, My Lil’ Bony, Rod Lover, Just John (#5), and our hares Finger Nips and Goat Blower. And of course your boring Scribe, Ralph. 

 EDIT: HogaSm

Why I abbreviate some names and not others? Who knows.

Somewhere after on-out we find our first batch of pre-lay.  It looked more like 2 weeks of pre-lay according to someone.  After leaving the CRAP place we circled up in an alley right next to the CRAP place.  We thought we found trail heading towards downtown and it was a false trail.  Ok, well trail must go the other way up Soquel.  We are on, yes, until someone find a false in front of the Burger King on Soquel.  Strange, we didn’t even have a check to refer back to.  There was one mark down Darwin Street but nothing beyond that. 

We are all lost at Soquel and Poplar.  Cars are stopping seeing the mass of people standing on corners and crosswalks loitering around looking for trail.

“Never seeing a 27 mark false”. 

You know a check would have helped.

Trail sucks.

Executive decision is made to continue to the first Beer Check which is known by a few at 007 Bar.

Another check after leaving the Bud Light 007 Beer Check at Soquel and Ocean View.  False down Soquel and no indication we are going to see early beer behind the old hospital.  Must be down Ocean View.  150-typical-SFH3-paces-by-someone-fearing-being-caught-paces down Ocean View we are on again.  The hares decided to take us though my son’s favorite park and leave a check at the bottom.  dBased and entourage decide to follow marking and go up  B40, but the rest of us are not fooled and follow trail up the path to Mountain View.  Another check between Mt View and Ocean View Park was another ploy to fool the foolish and we continued until we found the 2^nd Beer Check at Finger Nips house. We have plenty of beer and snacks at Finger Nips house along with plenty of “presents” in a bag.  Onto Religion.

See, unfortunately Religion is in a protected area, one where SCPD are a very low risk for interruption.  The whole pack is screwed. Gripes prior to the hares being grilled include,

TBO “I am disappointed”,

dBased “Trying to go for worst trail of the year so early is a noble try”

Pearl Necklace, “Another commandment about hashing, ‘don’t get stoned before laying flower’”

First up is our Beer Fairy Vince (I mean) PABST Lamblowme.  Fortunately the beer in pitchers is good beer and we don’t have to worry about PABST drinking it prior to down-downs.  

Next up is Bony for being 0-1 for CPR

3^rd up is Just John for his naming.  He is known for his reputation with the Harriets.  Ideas for names are Dear John, Not Gonna Be Hard, Get The Fuck Out, but nothing sticks.  Tabled.

Prior to this engagement it was ButtBalls & Annie’s Egg Nog party.  Puff had this habit of sucking on some people’s fingers.  While being called up Puff even attempted to suck on Jordass’s fingers.  Hoggy even told the pack that she coated her finger in Wasabi and Puff still sucked on her finger. Yeah get your down-down.

Our backslider falls prey to the RA.   Swiss Army Cock was disappointed by the lack of a hashit so he decided to go shirtless in 40 degree weather.  His tattoos read something like The Asshole which is roughly translated into Latin as, Vertias Aequias. I think since the Green Fairy has been legalized he has done a little too much authenticity testing.

I’m not sure what I wrote as to who took Little Spit’s 100’th Analversary.  I think the RA donated some of it to the drain and something about Pussy Sipper doing something that elicited an “Uh, ok” comment.

The RA was nailed for being an FRB.  Banana reported him as being “He was so Happy” for once.

Hares were next.  They were yammering about something but if flour came out of their mouths we might listen.  Oh well, maybe they’ll realize flour is cheap. 

Just John is back up for his naming.  A suggestion is Dick in the Box.  Boring.  Then it is pointed out he was a District Attorney in New York.  Needless to say we have CSI: Cunts Sluts and Incest.  Nice!

Just before breaking to our ONONON Clit Van Wrinkle shows and his excuse for backsliding is his visit to family to Costa Rica.  Family? Beyond the Hash? Down-down for you. 

Arghghaghga! Next Hash is hared by dBased.  I’ll get to working on that after some beer. 

Comments (3)

Written by hoggy, on 31-12-2007 10:09   I still like Dick in the Box better. And you forgot to put my name on the list of half-minds who decided to show up.

Dick in the Box Written by Serial Box, on 03-01-2008 11:10 I agree with Hoggie...and it doesn't make a bad hash name either, DOH!

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