Santa Cruz Hash House Harriers - I Fought the Law... #392

I Fought the Law... #392

Written by Ralph U. Crammed-in

Monday, 14 January 2008

Hash young (or young at heart) who do not know, gather round as I recap the story of the origins to our “I Fought the Law” run.

Twas one night when hares ButtBalls and Wiener were setting trail. Lo and behold at some point haring one of the hares (hell, I can’t remember which) crossed the path of a SC County Sheriff. In the middle of being hassled by Sheriff Dodge the second Hare shows up and is also hassled.

Hell I can’t remember the rest of the story, but it happened 8 years ago and I wasn’t there.

Here we are at the Britannia Arms in Aptos to commemorate the first run-in Surf City H3 had (of many) with Law Enforcement Agencies.

Present are Finger Nips, Timmy!, PABST Lamblowme, Rod Lover, Pixie, Mantasticals, Swiss Army Cock, Hairy Potter, TBO, Hogazm, Banana Basher, Dr. Nappy, Pussy Galore, C.S.I., Jordass for Men, Daddy’s Little Helmet, Stupid Pussy, Serial Box, Puff MDQ, Green Piece, Two Buck Fuck, LC Norm, Pearl Necklace, Spooge Bath, Goat Blower, Tater Tits, Anal Annie, dBased, Little Shit, Lady go Dive on It, Duhhh!!! and of course the afore mentioned Hares.

Comment and stories from trail: I get wind that Vince I mean PABST Lamblowme was having some PG&E issues after the last round of storms. (At this point I will brag about my power only being out for 4 hours on Friday) Anyhow, concerned that his beer is getting warm Vince calls up PG&E last Sunday inquiring as to when his power is going to be back on. PG&E responds that it they HOPE it will be back on by Wednesday. Vince just can’t stand the specter of all that beer going to waste (Note to Vince: Move out of the sticks!!). Vince decided to do what any person concerned about his beer would do is to take that short drive to Costco and buys himself a generator. Lucky for Vince, Murphy’s Law of Power Outages was in effect because by the time he got home, his power was restored and his beer was ICE cold.

“ButtBalls is a bastard, and you can quote me on that” –Spooge Bath

Trail from on out starts us with a check near the entrance of Nisene Marks State Park. I find trail heading over the dirt trail towards Trout Gulch. Near the same time I think Spooge Bath finds a mark heading towards the park. I see two marks, and yet he calls On Two. Just as I am questioning whether or not I should trust a Junior Hound and follow like a goon, dBased points out (as we follow to what turns out to be True-Trail) “They always put a false up there but never actually GO up there”. Good point, and we have a good lead on the pack. A few twists and turns (and after 3 people run over a lost wallet that PG was kind enough to collect and return to its owner) we end up on the railroad and my favorite source of acrophobia-The Railroad Tracks. Trail lead to the Tennis Club only to find a Back-Check. 90% of the pack heads back down the tracks searching for T-T. Eventually trail is found through this open gate that passes uncomfortably close to someone’s front law. Through Rio Del Mar and with Puff and Mantastical leading the way and (very few whistles behind us) we end up down in the Rio Flats. I can’t tell you which streets and what direction because I rarely see that part of Rio in the daylight. Eventually we are caught up with Puff and Mantasticals with a check at Seacliff and Spreckles Blvd. Trail leads us past a leaky septic and back on the tracks heading West. Manasticals trying to show off runs right past the BN and open fence to the Beer Check at the back of Rancho Del Mar. I think we were out of beer before Mantasticals returned but before long we gave up on the rest of the pack and return in preparation for religion.

First to fall victim to our RA: Our Beer Fairy. And who else more perfect for the job but Daddy’s Little Helmet. Where have you been Daddy? “Trying to stay out of trouble” she responds.

Second is Rod Lover for putting our group conversation regarding mid-life career changes in order to take a phone call.

Third is TBO for her 25^th Analversary and coincidentally her 1 year Analversary of her naming. How did she get her name? Remember her evil eye and when she threatens someone with a skateboard.

The next analversary is not only Hoggy, not only your scribe, but what is better than a two-some than a three-some! So lets add Tater Tits! All with 69 hashes.

Stop the press, we have Circle Crashers. They identify themselves as Frank and Juanito (who then changes his name to Libbe). They claim to be Cab Drivers but then claim to be Firefighters but I think that was a set-up for the joke they told.

Finally the Hares!

(Side note, those that remember being awarded Jordass’ Brittany costumes sweatshirt from the week before, it should be noted that Daddy’s Little Helmet not only chased me down ground my face into the ground, took my keys and stole the sweatshirt out of my car…or actually I gave it to her since I had no plans on wearing it and it was promised to her by Jordass).

Next hash is the Hairy-Ass Run, starting from the Boardwalk Bowl. Lets hope its not league night!