Jordass has Hefty Flex Bags for hashing redneck style. Oh yeah, it was raining quite heavily this evening.
Soaked souls tonight: Banana, Swiss Army Cock, Jordass, Timmy!!!, Pussy Sipper, Finger Nips, PABST Lamblowme, Hogazm, Hairy Potter, Serial Box, Goat Blower, C.S.I, Pussy Galore, LC Norm, Pearl Necklace, Puff MDQ, Rod Lover, Spooge Bath, Daddy War Bucks, Cum Lord, dBased, Hot Wheels, and a late Dog Breath. Scribe tonight as usual, and our trio of Hares: Choke, Piss, Suck.
While we are sitting enjoying Happy Hour at Club Dakota Banana gleefully announces that Panty Free scored him some software. Somehow either he, or Panty has Puff bringing it over the hill like some demented courier.
Serial Box points at me and says “Vagina, Vagina, Vagina!!”
“Since its raining do we get to cut out two of the three Hares?” –Pearl Necklace
I often see Daddy War Bucks in the AM and notice his Hash Fish is a little broken. He wonders if the Hash Fish is going to be an anomaly since 6 of 9 is liquidating himself [in a bottle of Everclear no doubt]. Daddy thinks 6 should try to replace Hunter S. Thompson given his writing style [should also be noted I’ve gotten 5 fucking Emails from 6 this evening…at least he’s keeping them on the We’ve Got the Runs list].
“Puffy? I think he’s gay” Finger Nips says to Serial Box. Puff needs his rainbow socks not his flame socks.
Serial is trying to get me to write some BS about Banana.
On trail: RAIN with LOTS of BAD MARKINGS
“Look look flour! Oh wait! That’s a Tampax” –Pussy Sipper
Beer Check:
Trail Reviews?
“We had a great trail, but we got lost” -Suck.
“I can’t remember when I’ve had so much fun on trail” -PABST
“I’ve never seen Banana DFL to a Beer Check” –Serial Box
[You gotta hash more]
As I head to the latrine I see Rod Lover on his phone. He gives me a look of horror and I promise him I won’t fink on him. As I exit said room, Jordass has already caught him.
“I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them” –Jordass
“[But] I was at a Bar! –Rod Lover
As if he wasn’t in trouble already for his hare-raising.
Religion: First the Beer Fairy: Daddy Warbucks. He touches the crown and the heart breaks. Swiss of course has superglue for some reason and fixes it.
I’m nailed first for the way my beanie was being worn. If you need a description too bad! Check the Hash-Flash.
Pearl Necklace is next for his 300th Analversary. RA has a new tradition that is tried out on the group when Virgins are new to the group as Virgins are too comfortable.
Whatever the first question: Answer “Who Cares!”
Whatever the second question: Answer Sarcastically “Fascinating!”
Whatever the third question: Answer “Shut up and Drink some BEER!!!”
3 Virgins somehow related indirectly related to Jordass’ work show up and are given the treatment.
Third is the empty mug for the asshole that spun-out while trashed and caused the accident that injured Dr. Nappy and Hugh Heifer with the song “Him! Him! Fuck HIM!” Also Cum Lord, Pussy Galore, Swiss Army Cock, and Finger Nips for helping our fellow harriets.
C.S.I is next for wearing a shirt bearing his name. “[he] I enjoy everyone” I don’t want to know what he meant by that.
Pussy Sipper and Banana for being DFL and P.S. for mistaking a tampon for flour. The question is who did that tampon fall out of?
Dog Breath next for splashing Hot Wheels. Poor kid.
Rod Lover now tries to hide trying to duck his fate. He had been to every trail after the ban at the AGM. His job is Hare Raiser. Who was a hare? Piss N Booth. Rod ratted Norm out for letting Piss hare. Passing the buck to the GM is a new crime.
Finally the hares! The part I didn’t mention is that the Bad/Bum Wine Check was notoriously missing. Told there was a bottle of Kag One full of vitamins and minerals. They left the BWC in Choka’s car (parked in front of the Rush Inn). The RA gives them a White Trash mimosa to round out the evenings theme by pouring this nasty vegetable juice into their beer. It should be noted we were…um…in a place where beers were not to be tossed over one’s shoulder. Hahaha!!! Payback!!!
End of the month preview for r*n #400. 4 hares, 4 beer checks, 4 flour drops. Sounds good!
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