Apparently Technical Blackout overheard of my engagement and was quoted as saying “What? Ralph engaged? There’s hope for me yet. Hashing will NOT be my life!” Well I wouldn’t hold out too much hope.  On trail dBASED carries his lampshade, says “I have no strap”. Coulda used an old jock strap you’d think. Stupidly Foot Loose says she did not bring a lampshade. Then overheard whispering, “I forgot the damn thing”.  I mean its only the LAMPSHADE RUN RIGHT???? Daddee was asked where Stupid Pussy is: He’s at a meeting. Doesn’t she know that’s the oldest one in the book?  Get ready for more of the same. Being my son is 5, I found many reasons to be ‘lost’ while his mum was of child.

As its reported to me our typically inexperienced hares laid a piss-poor trail.  Not only did Jordass refuse to wear his lampshade (he left it in that find quality 1984 Ford Tempo, the same place it was when I saw him driving down Soquel ~9am).  Secondly Choka turns the wrong way out of the parking lot only to find a dead-end. 

Typical amateur trail ensued.  Down Mission to go right onto Western Dr.  Across Gran Ole’ One and onto Grandview.  Grandview up to Arroyo Seco up to Escalona Dr.  Escalona was taken to Miramar where I found evidence of cocaine or um anthrax or um flour on my worn-out rear-left tire. Too bad 90% of the pack didn’t realize whose house that belonged too (not me).  Stupidly trail did end up continuing up Escalona to Anthony to Bay but was so poorly marked (even as I discovered r*nning on Saturday) that few followed.  The pack soon found their way back to Mission and on-right all the way back to Fair Ave.  Following Fair onto Ingalls and all the way to the Santa Cruz Mtn Brewing Company for the Beer Check.  Now what baffles me is when I came down Bay Ave and down the center of said green belt I found many a evidence of trail.  Including something that may have been a special liquor check however seeing nothing in the trail notes I assume that most of the pack missed this and either the local rodents/students/bums found this trail treat. 

Anyhow, those that made it to the SCMBC, drank for free.  Since trail was long, confusing, and poorly laid, many hasher had stayed behind and drank margaritas at the Mexican Restaurant known as La Mission courtesy of Norm and Pearl.  Those who showed up late ended up paying their own way because our quality RA but the INEPT Hare closed the tab at SCMBC before the DFLs showed up. 

As for the Turkey/Eagle split (a rare occurrence at SCH3) there was no evidence of said anomaly. The hares reported it would not be marked until three marks after a check.  Yet another amateur faux-pas by our amateur hares.  

Religion went something like this:

Bony is appointed Beer Fairy.

Vince: Like your lazy scribe work is slightly more important than hashing so I have to leave soon. [Vince actually wakes up earlier than Ralph’s 0530hrs alarm]. Vince err… um PABST disappeared shortly after.

Finger is given a down-down for best lampshade and for having a fringe that actually lit up.  One wonders what Burning Bush’s lampshade woulda’ looked like[?].

Six being his usual self [read: probably drunk] self tried to call Finger for having a hat on and was customarily awarded a zicky-zacky considering it was only a lampshade. 

A down-down proxy for Ralph was given to Just Peter for having no lampshade. 

Virgin Dusty was next (Dr. Nappy made him come).  He showed the crack-of-the-moon to the approval of harriettes present. 

Training Bra is awarded a ceremonious down-down for her 25^th.  I doubt she will miss her 25^th patch considering they were in my car parked on Escalona.

Lizzardo is awarded his deserving punishment for thinking the large “T” on trail denoted a tit check. Supposedly it meant the Turkey Trail [note to those that cared, Eagle probably when up that nasty hill towards Nobel]. On HashSpace I shall refer Lizzardo to the Tit-Check Group so he might have an idea of what a Tit-Check-Mark really looks like…or maybe some real tits, not sure how prudish that Choka-Cola really is.

Cordelia called up as Virgin even though she never even set foot on trail. She flashed her cute little English “bum” much to the enjoyment of males present and a select few of our perverted harriettes.

As for the following week Rod could not remember who next week’s hare was. Fortunately PG remembered it’s Piss ‘n Booths & Daddy War Bucks. PnB was still there but didn’t seem to remember either. Great! One hare that can’t LAY a trail and one hare that can’t RUN a trail! [Yes, we are FUCT again next week].

Finally the on-on-on was at, and what a surprise, the Crap Place. Adam let the herd in without paying the cover for the entertainment. Not sure if he likes us or is just scared of us. Only time shall tell…       

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