Present for said calamity include the likes of Beaver Whacker, Hugh Heifer, Cum Lord, CSI, Cumz Out Her Nose, PCP, Pussy Galore, Snach.cum, Daddy War Bucks, Capt Jack Swallows, Choka-cola, Spooge Bath, Swiss Army Cock, Puff MDQ, My Fucking Precious, Dr. Nappy, Hairy Potter, Pussy Sipper, Serial Box, Finger Nips, Goat Blower, Hoggy, LC Norm, Pearl Necklace, Rod Lover, Lizardo, Jordass, Jizz Bollah, Cumz & Goes, Loose Stool, dBased, Hot Wheels, Little Spit, Dog Breath, Just Dusty, Just Andrew, Virgin Mike, & your scribe Ralph. 

Puff tastes like liver someone says.

Trail heads down the tracks and immediately runs into law enforcement. Fortunately they were only attending to a malfunctioning railroad crossing. From Swift St Daddy War Bucks finds a false down Mission Ext. True Trail was found up Swift and through the Grandview neighborhood to Western Dr. Trail was briefly lost as people wandered this way and that until trail was found going up through a housing development at the end of Grandview. Where on earth could this trail go? In between a few houses and up a hill behind the Outlook Apts. The thirsty pack was at this point hoping there would be beer soon as we danced across Western Drive again and headed (head? who said head?) down Flower around another street only to find once again we are visiting the hydrogen-sulfide infested Meder Gulch Abyss. Fortunately for the pack and unfortunately for our livers our hare Timmy!!! left us with a bottle of Glenlivich Scotch which solved the mystery of what the SC check was. A few lung-fulls of sewer gas we end up the hill to McMillan working our way DOWN (fortunately not up) Bayona. Gee we are unusually close to Timmy!'s house. No wonder he didn't tell me anything about trail this evening. Anyhow, to make a long story short we end up in Timmy!'s back yard enjoying beer and what was left of teryaki wings or legs or whatever they were (fucking short-cutting DFLs).  Another unfortunate occurrence for our Hare is a large part of the 38 strong pack appeared in the 15 minute head start time and he had to rush down to the local inebriants-to-go proprietor to restock on beer. Somehow Banana ended up going with and saved the PBR lovers by returning with a 12...na make it 24 pack of Fuck That Shit! PBR! 

Anyhow, onto religion which turned out to be a spirituous event. Given that its a special time where we have not only 3 analversaries but one of them is someone's #400 the RA and his co-conspirator planned an extra special religion. After rushing to the local Safeway and securing some nice frosty bags of ice religion ensued. Loose Stool is called for Beer Fairy. First up is Cumz Out Her Nose for her 69th, but damn you scribe forgot Cumz & Goes for wearing some pathetic Argyle socks on trail. Finally after planted on the ice for a few minutes we give Cumz Out Her Nose is given her down-down for successfully wasting $5 69 times. Next would be Hugh Heifer for her 25th and she is planted on the ice (I think her boobs should have been on the ice in retrospect) but damn that forgetful scribe forgot Jiz Bollah for scrawling all that stuff about PCP  on the ground during trail.  Finally Hugh is relieved from ice-ass duty for her 25th. It would have been 69 except for a drunk driver interfered. Finally Banana is placed on the ice. Flappy, white, bare-assed and all. But wouldn't you know, the RA and Scribe forgot about a few other down-downs first. The first two are Dog Breath and Swiss Army Cock. Dog Breath lead Swiss astray and almost ended up killing Swiss. Which is probably due in part to Swiss ending up at the beer check with a nearly empty bottle from the Scotch Check.  Next to be called while Banana cool down on ice is Choka Cola and Lizardo. Apparently the two were having a non-Hasher dinner party when the loud [quiet] 70's pop [read: 70's PORN music] ended up with a visit from Santa Cruz PD. Fucking neighbors! Finally to Banana. Banana Basher: A man that only missed 7 SCH3 hashes since its inception. He even left his wife at Stanford just to Hash. A man that has spent over $2,000.00 for hash cash alone. Not to mention at bar tabs afterwards. Banana stories were rquested afterwards (in case his bums wern't numb yet). Stories like Banana's old restaurant having such a high bar that you could touch the celing. He also got so drunk (Banana? Noooo...) that he slept [read: passed out] 5 times in his tenure as a Sports Bar Operator.  Pearl the gave Banana a lap dance and Banana is done chilling out. The next victim is the Virgin who is here courtesy of the Internet and Swiss Army Cock.  He tells a joke that is not worth repeating. FINALLY the Hare. Yes the usual accolades or do I mean insults? Yes insults. OnOn

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