Santa Cruz Hash House Harriers - Norm & Pearls Analversary (or how I learned to write two trashes in one day) #408.

Norm & Pearls Analversary (or how I learned to write two trashes in one day) #408.

Written by Ralph U. Crammed-in

Sunday, 04 May 2008

The Rio Theatre: Colin Meloy Sings Live! I just bought a copy of Colin Meloy sing Sam Cooke. Life is good. I wish they sold beer here, its a while before this show starts.

Among the near-50 mass that showed up Puff MQD, CSI, PCP, My Fucking Precious, Jack Off On The Pot, Rod Lover, Goat Blower, Serial Box, Pussy Sipper, Finger Nips, Banana Basher, Arabian Goggler, Just Dusty, Just Andrew (I think), My Lil Bony, Dr. Nappy, PABST Lamblowme, Hogazm, Capt Jack Swallows, Hugh Heifer, Timmy!!!, Just Nick, Neighborhood Watch, Choka Cola, Lizardo, Snach.cum, Suck Cockran, ButtBalls, Jiz Bollah, Cumz & Go, Spooge Bath, Piss N Booth, Lil Anal Annie, Cumz Out My Nose, Pussy Galore, Hairy Potter, Virgin Sheila, Pixilated Obsenity, Loose Stool, Nataly Cum-On-My-Cheek, Seemore Dick, Six of Nine, Cervix Denied, Stupid Pussy, Daddies Lil Helmet, Training Bra, Dog Breath [is that all Ralph?].

With such a large group its hard to come up with good gossip. So lets see here lets make some up... Daddies Lil Helmet is pregnant. NO! damnit its true. Ok, Nadias pregnant then...SHIT thats true too. Damnit. Ok, Six is pissed off...I mean Dog Breath is late. I'm lost. Problem when too many people show up to the Hash. Too much truth not enough fiction.

Trail. Very well layed (or is it laid?).

Starting from Casa de Norm (might I add the location of one of my original hashing introductions) the pack heads East along Soquel only to be lost immediately it ends up . Trail is finally found and most of us whip [it out at the ball game] through the City lot and down Benito. As the headstrong pack jay-walks across a Water St full of stunned pedestrians we are lost finally on the corner of Poplar and Melrose. Since the FRBs that are leading this group of imbeciles are relatively new no one bothers to check the alley that leads to true trail. Ending up on Keystone and a place of distant past I'd rather not be [I] rapidly pace past the Stanford St and proceed up B40. True trail continues except for another circle jerk past Rite-Aide. Personally I thought it might go to Rip Van Wrinkle's place (formerally Loose and Nadias') but I was wrong and trail hung a right down Soquel right into the back of B40 plaza.

Though we learn later that due to the large turn out the BM nearly snared the Hares as she replenished the depleted trough.

Anyhow onto religion. For whatever reason our RA claims he is under the weather but any seasoned hasher knows all that means is he is getting laid. In the mean-time we appoint our RA Emeritus Pixilated Obscenity to the task. First victims are our knocked up harriets Daddies Lil Helmet and Nadia Cum-on-my Cheek. They are awarded their non-alcohol down-downs.

Next would be the harriets who are such consistent backsliders that they even forgot their Hash Name when it came to circle.Who might they be? I forgot![suck and cervix btw]

Third up for Pixie's inquisition are our FHAC-u visitors Goggler, Six, and C>.

Fourth is Piss N' Booth for running into a wall while parking her car. When asked whether she damaged her car her reply "I haven't looked yet I will look later when I'm not drinking". Sure she will have plenty of opportunities to dent her car on the way home.

Backsliders are next the likes of Dog Breath, Loose Stool, and Butt Balls. Somehow Pixie screwed up the song and the pack awards her a Zicky-Zacky.

Sixthly the pack attempts to name Just Nick. He has a rank of E-7 in the USMC or to you civilians his rank is Staff Sergeant. He is attending the DLI and learning (what was it Arabic? Who the fuck cares). He likes spandex. Fuck Wheat is suggested. He is married w/ 2 kids. Don't Ask Don't Tell is dropped. Someone asks him what Nick mean in Arabic. Apparently its something rather interesting but I was unable to jot it down in time. Camel Toe, Spandex & Arabic. He will drink while we think about it.

Virgin Shelia is called up and given the usual options. But since Pixie is our RA she gives her the option of showing her Uvula. Shelia is smart and knows what the Uvula is and does so.

Nick is brought back up. Other names are suggested Sausage Casing and Staff Sausage are added. With this 50+ strong pack halfway sloshed there is no way we are going to come up with a name. Its tabled until next week (Red Dress, what a great time).

Finally the Hares LC Norm and Pearl. They met, drank, fucked, and got engaged at the Hash. Now its their 5th Analversary.

Well, onto the OnOnOn, shame the bus calls. I promise you I will make it to one soon! See you next time at the Red Dress!