After an exciting trip over and back and a quick trip from work down the local secret known as Brookwood I arrive at the start of trail. Its 1800 hrs, Vince and Cum Lord are present. There is no beer. 1816 hrs rolls by when someone asks Daddy War Bucks what time it is, Daddy and his co-hare Piss N Booth have arrived back from their ore-lay. There is still no beer. Banana calls Finger Nips and she is supposed to be on the way. 1825 hrs, take a guess, was there beer yet? That's right, no. ButtBalls tells Daddy "this is a goat-rope already without the Hares even leaving". Other victims of our lost Beer Mistress are PCP, Hoggy, Jordass, Dr Nappy, Take It, Flaccid, Pixie, Mrs Groper, Choka Cola, Just Diane, Just Geoff, ML Feltcher, LC Norm,Pearl, Golden Showers, Goat Blower, Just Nick, Broke Bench, Bad Yeast, Rod Lover, Timmy!!!, Capt Jack, Hugh Heifer, PG, Puff MDQ, Serial Box, Accu, Annie, Hairy Potter, Auntie Cumyma, Sausage Slam, Virgin Trixie, Virgin Andrew.

After our usual circle-up, trail turns towards the weeds, and North past the the Odd Fellows hall.  Turns out it was just a way to skirt the group in the tall weeds, obscured by some tall shrubs, eventually leading to the back of the main part of the cemetery.  Quickly the bad wine check is found, and passed over by the FRBs.  Across Paul Sweet and twisting through Dominican Hospital and a few ambulances, a check is found at Soquel.  After not finding trail in any direction, West on Soquel is rechecked and the pack is  back on Westward.  Hoping for beer-check at the Soquel Park and Ride, Golden Showers and I run down only to be disappointed.  Trail continued over Soquel and on…and on…and on to La Fonda.  Some says BN and after two right turns Beer-check is on a dirt road bordering Harbors’ baseball fields.  On our way back to the start dBased and I choose to short-cut it slightly, and of course the pack of sheep follow us as we create our own shaggy accessing a service entrance into Harbor High.  

Religion commences.  First Beer Fairy is Auntie Cumyma. 

Next and an enduring down-down is Broke Bench Mountain for his piss-poor performance as Beer Fairy last Hash. And by enduring, he’ll be up everytime.  

Second, to get the heavy lifting out of the way, the namings.  First off is Just Geoff.  Banana chimes in that at an OnOnOn he whips out a C-Note and buys flowers “This will impress the ladies”.  Drinks impress the ladies, not flowers! It is reminded to everyone that when he showed his joke he had to stroke it a few times to get it large enough for anyone to see.  Hoggy suggests 3 Strokes and Yer Out.  Just Geoff complains about the naming taking too long. Needless to say the name Tiny Whiney Bitch sticks.

The second naming is Just Mike.  Mike is in the Navy.  He’s a Lieutenant Junior Grade at the NPS.  Quickly someone notes he likes girly drinks. Flaccid suggests Faggy Navel.  A few more names are suggested that just suck, so Faggy Naval is re-suggested and cheered overwhelmingly by the pack. 

Golden Showers, recipient of the Hashit, is called up for his third time at bat, or in other-words he recently got married for the third time. 

Puff is summoned to the Ford Tempo Alter.  When he pulled into the start it looked as if Puff came directly from work, and it appears as through he was wearing OP shorts to work, new OP shorts.  Definitely worthy of a down-down. 

Goat Blower is called for her ceremonious #50 Analversary. How long will this last? No one knows.

The Virgin parade starts next and Virgin Andrew is called first.  Finger Nips fails in her attempted de-pantsing.  He opts to tell a joke: What  has 16 balls and 6 holes? A Pool Table.  Ha ha. 

And then Virgin Trixi, has a joke.  Why did the deer come out of the forest? “I won’t do that again for $2”.  I think I get it.

Finally the Hares.  Daddy is going to be 86 which is international for GET THE FUCK OUT.  

In an hour, the Hairy Snatch Trail.

Comments (1)

Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment Tweaked Special Edition v.1.4.6
AkoComment © Copyright 2004 by Arthur Konze - www.mamboportal.com
All right reserved