So some fool decided I should be Hash Scribe. I think that person would be named Hogazm. She probably nominated me so that she didn't have to do it herself and I also didn't buy the line she gave me in an Email admitting that she had nominating me saying that I "did a pretty good job" when I filled in for her. Well the shit talking will continue in earnest especially about My Lil Bony and the reason for his absence is his doctors insist on him seeing a dominatrix weekly on Thursday at least until he can get his fucking hours changed so that he can come out and Hash again.
So my first official Trash is started at the lovely Brady's Yacht Club. Notoriously absent was our former BM Glazed Hole.
Attendance for this evening amounts to:
Jordass for Men, Banana Basher, Spooge, Bath no Pants, Choka Cola, Mrs. Groper, Hugh Heffer, Goat Blower, Dr. Nappy Headed Ho, Just Jason, Finger Nips, Timmy!!!, Rod Lover, LC Norm, Pearl Necklace, Hogazm, Jiz Bollah, Pussy Sipper, Harry Potter, Flipped Out Wiener, Puff the Magic Drag Queen, Muddy Muff/Rarely Cumz, Lady Go Dive on It, dBased, Little Spit, Dog Breath, and Just Megan and the hares Pussy Galore & Cum Lord.
Anyhow, the typical trash fodder I was able to collect was Choka Cola telling Hogazm how amorous she gets when she gets really drunk.
Hugh Heffer showing how she shakes a cocktail shaker and bruises vodka while Mrs. G slapped me repeatedly for saying that vodka Martinis are only drank by weak minded individuals.
Flipped out Wiener shows up looking relatively homeless.
Meanwhile the Medical Marijuana crowd takes its usual caucus.
On trail while following Banana on a false trail I overhear talk about an item on restaurant Al Dante’s menu known as the Hot Carl. I won't explain beyond Hogazm who was telling her that the proper way to do it involves plastic wrap. I was a little disturbed by this conversation so I had to remove myself.
Meanwhile we are lost. We are so lost. Drunk college kids are yelling at us. Somehow someone finds trail down the railroad tracks that one of our hares promised us wouldn't be on trail.
While waiting to cross that intersection of Seabright and Eaton/Murray Choka Cola is guilty of racism while attempting to challenge Spooge Bath to a contest. Meanwhile Spooge Bath is moaning "If I wanted to be lied to by women I'd stay home".
Trail notes were rather pointless but from the check at Logan and Mountain View made it clear that trail was going south either going to Finger Nips (yeah right) or more likely out at the point of near San Lorenzo River and Seabright Beach home to previous beer checks, drug deals, etc.
While at the beer check Dog Breath and I were trying to convince Hugh Heffer to show us her tits again she informed us that she would rather die than have saggy tits.
Onto Religion our new RA Jordass for Men starts his wrath.
First called was Hogazm. RAs new position of subservience is the Beer Fairy complete with Tiara and Wand. The job of the Beer Fairy is to keep the RA's down-down chalices full of that oh-so-holy Natty Ice.
Next was our GM Last Call Norm for thinking she was immune from a display of affection.
Queen Hugh Heffer was next for her quote "hurry up guys and find trail for the queen".
The autohashers Loose Stool and Nadia Cum-on-my-cheek for not only driving on the tracks but also Loose Stool was nailed for his leg wear. Only the RA is permitted to wear jeans. RA nailed for racism in the same swing.
Just Megan was next and the question was asked about how many babies she adopted while she was in Africa? Selfish white girl.
Goat Blower is brought up for picking on the RA (stupid bitch) for not smoking out at the beer check.
Our analversery for the evening goes to Harry Potter for 25 hashes.
Lastly GAS is the last victim for Autohashing to religion.
Next trail will be at the Over The Hill Gang Saloon with Pearl Necklace as our RA and Puff as the stand in Scribe before he visits the Dodger lovin toss-pots at North-South at the H3SoB.
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