We meet at the Brittania Arms, half way to Monterey in Aptos. Those who showed up on this glorious night: Dogbreath, Cum Lord, TIMMY!, PCP, Pussy Galore, LC Norm, Bad Yeast Rizin’, Hugh Heifer, Flaccid Capacitor, Daddy Warbux, Weiner (hare), ButtBalls (hare), Vince Lamblowme, Puff MDQ, Hairy Potter, Finger Nips, Banana Basher, Cream Filled Twinkie, Rod Lover, pearl Necklace, Lil Anal Annie, Ralph R U Crammedin, My Lil Boney, Pixillated Obscenity, Winds of Uranus, dBased, Hot Wheels, Ball Monitor, O’ Holy Nuts, Goldie Coxxx, Tiny Whiney Bitch, Jizz Bollah, Hangs Loose and his enormous dog, BBM, Icy Jackass, Broken Shaft, and Just Mike, Ben and Brian (run #5 for each). 

I stay back with a good chunk of the pack for this run. I know as scribe I should do trail, and I surely will. Lest you all think I am just lazy, I want to point out that my ankle is still quite weak, and I do not trust its stability in the dark, especially over slippery railroad tracks. So, until trails are again in the majority of light or they are not prone to shiggy, the scribe will write from the sidelines. We all know by now that Jordass has relinquished all scribe duties, so anyone who would like to try their hand at writing up a trail, please come talk to me. Now on to the fun stuff… religion.

Beer Fairy is Goldie Coxxx. I’m not sure why. She is always in good spirits and looks cute in the tiara, I suppose. The pack all notes that our beloved Banana is no where to be seen. Lost on trail? See, perhaps the scribe was smart…..

Next up were Pixie and Annie for wearing the hash shit. I’m not sure why they were awarded the hash shit, but in my nearly illegible scrawl I have that Pixie had sex in her dreams and Annie got lost on trail. Now, we all have sex dreams (I hope), but the fact that Annie got lost on trail is baffling considering that she is married to one of the hares. Not only that, when she returned she complained that when she finally did find beer check, there was no wine. I have only known Annie a couple of years and I even know that she does not drink beer and sticks strictly to white wine at the hash. Butt Balls has been married to her for nearly 20 years and still hasn’t figured this out? Somehow this was overlooked by the RA, but that is most deserving of a down-down!

Third to the altar are Hangs Loose and his ginormous dog. This thing is some sort of wolf mix that I remember from Wharf to Barf as being 20% paw. Now it has almost grown into its paws and is a massive, beautiful, and quite sweet tempered dog. Hangs Loose was called up for technology on trail, nothing to do with his prehistoric pet, but rather answering a call from his new girlfriend on lower Ocean. Apparently he is now swinging between SC and Sacto whenever his local prostitute can fit him in.

Cumz out My Nose is called up next for her 100^th run. Apparently she has been hashing way too long because she spins in some sort of lost delirium and can’t find the altar. Goatie hasn’t been around, so we can’t blame it on the goat food. It is any of our guesses why Cumz is so disoriented. Perhaps is has to do with the goo cumming out her nose. Brains or cum?

Next up are the boys Just Mike, Ben and Brian for their naming. Although it is tempting to name them the Whack Street Boys because they always cum together, we acknowledge that it is our hash duty to find something unique in them all and name them accordingly as individuals. Lots of things get tossed out due to their various behaviors (who knew they were so colorful?), but ultimately the names are tabled for another night.

Finally, before the hares, the RA and On Sec are called up because the web site is screwed up. A few excuses fly, but no good answers. Seems like a bump in the mismanagement transition hopefully to be worked out soon. Nips and Twinkie take their down downs in stride and promise to get things better as soon as they recover from their hang overs.

And the hares…which brings up the question for us young’uns ‘what is “I Fought the Law” anyway?’ Seems as though Butt Balls was stopped by the cops while setting the first live trail ever for Surf City H3, which happened to correspond to rolling brown outs in the city, thus the cops were more on edge than usual. That’s about all of the story that I got, so I leave it up to you to question our elders on the history of the hash and get the rest of the story.

Next hash is announced as the Stupor Bowl (trash coming soon), and the next regular hash starting at the liquour store on Graham Hill Road (also coming soon). May the hash get a piece!  

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