| 457 - Pastry Trail |
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| Written by Banana Basher | ||||
| Wednesday, 25 March 2009 | ||||
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Hares Announcement Stiles and Bullshytt,
Hash 457 – Thursday, March 19, 2008 Hounds: Vince Lamblowme, Daddy Warbucks, Timmy!, Hairy Potter, Finger Nips, Choka Cola, Rod Lover, Serial Box, Banana Basher, Goat Blower, Broke Bench Mountain, Oh Holly Nuts, Coldie Coxx, Icy Jackass, Flaccid Capacitor, Takes It Like a Man, Ball Monitor, Hugh Heifer, Just Troy, Just Wendy, Virgin Gale, Virgin Jon-Michael Harriers: Cream-Filled Twinkie and Puff the Magic Drag Queen.
Pastry Trail Before we begin, a little information on the Twinkie: “The Twinkie was invented on April 6, 1930 by a bakery manager James Dewar in Schiller Park, Illinois, making thrifty use of pans that were used for shortcake production only during the strawberry season. Twinkies originally contained a banana cream filling, but this was replaced with a vanilla cream filling during a banana shortage during World War II. The original flavor would be revisited more than half a century later as an alternative flavor.” Now what any of this has to do with Cream-Filled Twinkie, aka Twinkie, is that the hasher and the food item are both objects of desire. Just watching the hashers flock around our long lost ON SEC last Thursday reminded me of a feeding frenzy. Then watching the hashers gobble up the Twinkies provided at the Beer Check confirmed my suspicions of all of this desire being directed towards the hasher Twinkie. Everyone wants to taste her ……. er, I think I will leave that part alone. Let us begin again! The mighty Surf City H3, the happiest half minds on the left coast, gathered this evening for the 457th edition of Harriers and Hounds at the beautiful home of Cream-Filled Twinkie. The usual suspects were there and faithfully recorded by our Hash Scribe Dr. Nappy Headed Ho who sprained her writing finger which prevents her from running. The good doctor asked that I take over writing the “r*n” part of the trail. Now we all know that Banana and run are never used in the same sentence, but I did volunteer again to help out with the Trash. I know trash! One of the hares had made a promise in the hash announcement concerning school-girl outfits. It stated “If your luck I'll get my school girl outfit out!” I was very excited. The prospects of seeing Twinkie in a school girl outfit was beyond words. This could be hasher heaven no doubt! But upon arrival, no school girl outfit. Then I broke into a cold-sweat. What if Puff had made that promise?!? OH SHITE!!! Slowly I scanned the gathering pack and was “rewarded” with the sight of Puff in his standard yellow OP shorts. Well I guess it is better than him wearing a little school girl outfit, but just barely.
The hares left and the pack felt much better about life. I know I always feel better when Puff leaves. A few beers later and Finger Nips gathered the pack for circle. The usual suspects were present plus two virgins. After standard introductions, the pack left the beer behind to go venture into the lands near UCSC. ON ON Immediately on High Street, the pack hits a check mark which gave us a ten minute search. There was only three ways to go, but with Puff setting marks, hashers start looking up in trees for trails. Finally trail was found on Highview Drive – a semi-private road which meanders about semi-nice home with very protective owners who own guns. Shite, are we back in Ben Lomond? Horses and kids everywhere but no beer and little flour to be found. True trail was discovered down a private path that took us out to the grasses fields below UCSC. It was nice being out in nature as the sun was setting. It was nice to be able to see all of the rocks and mud areas that in the winter I just plow into. And as the sunset, Vince Lamblowme observed that this trail would be better if there was a bar nearby for us to stop in for a quick bevie. I agreed. Turkey/Eagle split took the brave FRBs down into a ravine while the smarter and more un-athletic of us stayed up on a ridge and watch with bemusement as the idiots, er I mean, our kennel mates thrash about below us. ON ON we encouraged. The pack came together just in time to cross over High Street and into UCSC. Up a hill we went towards all of the smart people who kept asking us what we were doing. Hey! If you be so smart, you figure it out! Personally I was keeping an eye on Flaccid and his penchant to chase underage girls. There were lots of them roaming around until Timmy informed me that these ladies were all legal. I guess he would know since he has to babysit, er I mean teach high school girls. When did college age girls get so young? Our second Turkey/Eagle split sent Icy Jackass, Broke Bench Mountain and Just Troy in search of eagles while the rest of the pack wisely chooses the Turkey. Icy Jack Ass and Just Troy were witnesses to a nasty bike crash that I am sure gave them nightmares unless they drank themselves stupid at the ON ON ON. (Anyone see them at the ON ON ON?) The pack arrived at the Beer Check to learn that Rod Lover had snared both hares. How the hell did he do that? This pack is not that quick! Beer Check featured beer and Twinkies which were consumed quicker than one could believe. ON back in the dark trying to avoid the on-coming cars and back to the start for religion – and once again I take Dr. Nappy Headed Ho’s notes to finish the rest of the trash. NOTE: This religion can be heard on Dive Bar Radio, Show #3. http://divebarradio.libsyn.com /index.php?post_id=446487 Religious Advisor: Hairy Potter Beer Fairy: Ball Monitor Down Down
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