#458 West Wandering, Part Duh Print E-mail
Written by FingerNips   
Thursday, 30 April 2009

Hash 458 3//26/09

Start: Santa Cruz Mountain Brewery
Hares: PCP and Aunty Cumina

Pack: Banana, Brave Brave Sir Robin, Broke Bench Mountain, Choka Cola, Cum Lord, Cumz Out My Nose, Daddy Warbucks, Dr. Nappy-Headed Ho, FingerNips, Flaccid Capacitor, Goat Blower, Goldiecoxxx, Got Milk, Hairy Potter, Hugh Heifer, Jizzbola and his younger brother Virgin Josh, O'HolyNuts, Just Zaga, Piss 'n Booths, Pixilated Obscenity, Pussy Galore, Ralph RU Crammed-In, Rod Lover, Snatch.com, Sunday Semen, Takes It Like A Man, Timmy!!!, Tiny Whiny Bitch, Vince Lamblowme.

The pack arrived early to enjoy happy hour at one of our many favorite west side breweries.  Brave Brave Sir Robin showed dressed as a german cowboy complete with stuffed pony - beastiality?  Aunty was busy writing "hare instructions" at the bar not realizing the tempting object she became... wait for it... "Dear Diary, I love Banana Basher!" boomed out in the bar.  In circle, back-sliding Ralphie was given the Cal Transvestite Hash Shit.  He was over heard earlier, when asked why he hasn't been hashing, "It's just not the same without ButtBalls doing Cornholio and making me giggle!"  It must have been some kind of fraternal hazing by Jizzbola as he brought his 12, no 15, O.K. no more than 17 year old brother, Josh, to his first hash.  As usual, Puff had a pack of hash dogs nosing his crotch.
 
Our pair of petite hares disappeared in two different directions after Aunty pushed her hare-note into FingerNips hands.  Banana and Nips looked at it, laughed and ignored said note.  The pack takes off across the parking lot.  What's this, Banana is checking?  What gives?  Trail leads up Swift, across Mission and then along Grandview.  DFLers stop to chat with a citizen who saw us come through here during last years LampShade Run.

Turning into what the pack knows is a dead-end of cookie-cutter condos, trail zigs and zags out behind the condos and leads us into... Ranch Refugio.  WTF.  Hashers will find no refuge here.  Poison-oak-sensitive hashers make a hard left and face traffic on Highway 1 before they'd set foot in undergrowth of the refuge!

FRB's, with Virgin Josh in tow, plunge deep into undergrowth and bottom of the draw where Moore Creek flows.  (Moore Creek feeds the lake where Aunty floated the beer check on the last trail she hared.  Did she swim up stream to find this little slice of hell?)  The DFLers manage a shortcut and start heading up the mountain in front of them.  And up and up.  FRB's run by like f'ing billygoats.  Topping out high above the west side this little band of true trailers are greeted with jello shots for hashers, cow patties for the hash dogs and a sunset for all!   Trail down was marked with flour highlighted cow patties.

The pack comes together at the beer check in the back parking lot of our favorite industrial area building.  Turns out that even the p.o. shortcutters wondered where Vince and Banana went!  Ahhh, would that be The Wateringhole?  Correct, as revealed on Dive Bar Radio #4.  And here's a "Deep Thought from Banana" that was shared:  When I was young and my Mom and I would pass by a dive bar, she would say that's not the kind of place you want to go into.  Then as I grew up, I realized that my Mom was full of shit!

On to religion behind the brewery.
Beer Fairy: Rod Lover - dazzling in a pink tiara.  Hat size: 5 year old girl


Mrs. Groper showed up with her puppy.  The puppy ran straight for Puff's crotch.


Visitor: Got Milk - FHAC-U


Namings: Sunday Semen - seems he had his first sexual experience in a church.  Runner-up name: Fucked In a Pew


Just CJ disappoints with a joke


Virgin Josh - since we probably won't see him again anyway, the pack names him ___________.  If anyone remembers what we called him please tell the hash know by writing a comment to this post.  I vaguely remember it was good.


A big thanks to Tiny Whiny Bitch for stepping up and hosing down the load dock area after religion.  Word Hashers:  down your throats OR on your head OR down your pants!


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