Surf City Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash #497

Written by O Holy Nutz

Thursday, 07 January 2010

"There was some conjecture that she had left with Cum Lord, and the both of them had stopped for some blowjob-on-trail"

Hash #497

The Pack: Cuff My Muff, Winds Of Uranus, Flaccid Capacitor, d-Based, Hugh Heiffer, Cum Lord, Vince LamBlowMe, Banana Basher, Cumz Out My Noze, CSI, Timmy!, Zipper Lips, Flipped Out Weiner, Hardly Cumz (aka Muddy Muff), Spore Whore, Charlie’s Ho.

The Justs: Just Sabrina, Just Dave, Just Brian, Just Sheila

The Virgins: Virgin Daniel

Location: The Mediterranean, Aptos

The Hare: d-Based

The Convocation

We all gathered at the Mediterranean, located in Aptos. It was cold and dark outside, so all of us hashers were bundled up pretty good. I caught a little bit of shit from SporeWhore, who declared that it wasn’t really that cold outside, and why was I dressed for the Arctic? SporeWhore is a backsliding Brit, so who gives a shit about what he says?

Anyway, we all circled up and introduced ourselves, then were pointed in the right direction for trail.

On-On!

Trail led straight to a check. The pack fucked around a bit before making up it’s mind about which way to go. D-based didn’t lay a terribly difficult trail, but because it was dark, and the pack consisted of half-minds, we did get thrown a few times.

Trail led down a series of stairs to Cement Beach. At the bottom of the stairs, there was a check, which led to most people searching to the left. Well, trail actually led to the right, past motor homes and campers. We had to hop a wooden fence that led onto the beach directly to the ocean, then continued along the ocean (it would’ve been a great, if unintentional, mind-fuck if the waves would have washed away the flour).

D-based wasn’t through, yet, trail led up a rough stairwell dug into the cliff, and into some great night-time shiggy (thanks, d-Based!). A small group of us were thrown, when an arrow led off the main trail into some fun shiggy. We searched high and low for trail ( I was totally off in the wrong direction) when Flaccid called out that we were going back to the main trail. Sure ‘nuff, there was true trail!

The trail led down railroad tracks, and into d-Based’s girlfriend’s house (thanks d-Based’s girlfriend!) for beer check. Once that was done, we all dispersed and wandered over to religion.

Religion

Some of us had a difficult time in finding out where religion was located. The reason being that the beer-meister didn’t arrive. BananaBasher and Puff found the beer trough in the back of HughHeiffer’s truck, and hauled it over behind The Mediterranean.

There was a bit of concern over where our beer-meister, Hugh Heiffer, had gone to. The last we’d heard of her was at Beer Check. There was some conjecture that she had left with CumLord, and the both of them had stopped for some blowjob-on-trail. However, when Cum Lord arrived alone, we knew that wasn’t the case. It turned out that Heiffer was all right, but it brings up a good point: We need to watch out for each other, and keep track of who leaves when. If Heiffer hadn’t shown up, we would have to start a search party for her. ‘Nuff said.

The following people were chosen for the privilege of down-downs. ( HardlyCumz was beer fairy).

· uCuCCCumLord and HughHeiffer, for being late to religion, and a possible blowjob on trail

· Puff, for being tone-deaf and starting his hash songs as chants (Hey, if chant was good enough for Pope Gregory, why the fuck not?)

· SporeWhore, for backsliding. He was the original RA of Surf City hash when it started on Nov. 9, 2000, but was voted out for being too nice.

· BrokenShaft, SuckCockrane, and PissInBooths, for not doing trail. Banana gave them the silent hash song.

· Just Sheila and Just Brian ( who did the arrows on the trail), Brian’s got 20 hashes under his belt, and has yet to be named. The name Girl Scout was floated as a possibility.

· Just Sabrina, for 4 hashes.

· Charlie’sHo, for 4 hashes.

· d-Based, who hared, and his girlfriend, Susan, who allowed us to use her house for beer check.

· SporeWhore, again, just because.

That’s it folks!

~O’Holy Nutz

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