The Hairy-Ass run took place this evening starting at Coasters Bar attached to the Boardwalk Bowl.  

Present: Banana, Puff, Finger Nips, Spooge Bath, PABST Lamblowme, Serial Box, Pussy Sipper, Timmy!, Nadya Cum-on-my-cheek, Loose Stool, Jizz Bollah, Pixie, Rod Lover, Choka Cola, LC Norm, Pearl Necklace, Hogazm, TBO, Daddy Warbucks, Tater Tits, Cervix Denied, Hugh Heifer, Goat Blower, Captain Jack, Dr. Nappy, Suck Cockran, dBased, Hot Wheels, Little Spit, Virgin Tammy, and the hares, Hairy Potter and Jordass for Men.

Choka decides to show up again in order to give me shit. “You don’t go to the OnOnOn! I wanna know what goes on”. 

Some people are talking about work Serial Box groans and remarks “I am glad I am not working, you guys are hurting my brain”.

Prior to the Hares leaving Jordass remarks “Three lines on the ground means a false trail, back to the check.  A circle means back-check and trail is between that and the last check”.  Ok, at least someone is clear on normal Surf City marking.  Is it a sign?

To some extent, yes.  After spending about an hour looking for trail after finding trail I recall the last trail Hared by BJ and GAS.  Yep, wouldn’t you know, I find trail.  Later Spooge Bath would tell me he was very disappointed in me for not knowing better. Trail notes? Nothing of note.  Few long checks, a few back checks, and what later was found to be 4 falses and 2 YBFs.  Trail was so bad that even Banana ended up being the FRB into the Beer-check.  Banana notes, “Lucky we are not in a good neighborhood or else we’d be at a bar”.

There was supposed to be a rum-check. But most of us ran right past it until Hoggy spotted the markings.  As we were approaching the end of trail a bum sitting on the ground holding up a No Parking sign asks Banana “Is your doctor making you run?”.

Beer-check occurred at a house deep in the center of Beach Flats.  Area I’ve never even been in to.  Evaluating the poorer qualities of trail Jordass laments that they brought “No coke, no water, no trash bag, we’re lame hares”.  We also had this deep seeded fear that this was another Drop and Blow Me style beer check.  Jordass allayed our fears by saying “No don’t worry, they’re at work and won’t be home for a number of hours”.

“TBO was hanging off some fence peeing” someone insists I write down. Pretty much everyone took a dump or pee on trail someone else observes. I must have been in the minority on that group, then again I only sucked down one beer.

Religion starts in an empty parking lot supposedly owned by the Beach Company.  This purported “Fuzz-proof location” consisting of 2 shipping containers counted on the pack being only 5-10 people.  Despite it being cold, there were more than that. Never-the-less, religion continues.

First up: Beer Fairy.  Rod Lover is nominated for that job since he spilled beer on his camera at Coasters.

Next is Spooge Bath for his bad Fu Manchu mustache.

Followed shortly by Choka Cola.  I hate written down that Tater & Choka rum together.  Choka gets off with wine in wee bottles and the quote “Fantastic…thinking of tater the whole time”. This is a moment where I wish I’d taken better notes.

Virgin Heather is next.  Prior to her grand introduction she is accused of having trouble keeping her pants on because she had to pee.  She tells us she wouldn’t have been caught had someone not used their flashlight to illuminate her ass.

Jizz Bollah called up for running every back-check and false and for being “pretty much a lame ass”.

Finally the Hares.  Conclusion? More flour.

Next trail is Spooge Bob and Glazed Hole out of the Seabreaze down in the Rio Flats.

Scribbles from the OnOnOn:

Choka with her mouthful: “Why you here, its not the girlfriend whipping that short leash”.  Choka, you don’t want to be my next victim do you? I mean, I’m still learning how to talk some good funny shit on these trashes and I may not be nearly as funny as Hogazm but I do pick on certain people. Fortunately Dr. Nappy comes to my rescue and tells her “No, it’s the Metro”.  Yes folks.  Nothing like that 5am alarm to cut the night short.

Virgin Heather has to pee again, spawning the title of this trash.

“Its disgusting gross [flip hair] and inappropriate for children” [referring to Little Spit].  I think that was TBO after she stole Little Spit’s bike.

Serial Box telling TBO that she is “supposed to imagine and visualize her mouth as her vagina and orgasm and visualize her fucking herself”. [Choka, you wanted dirt, you got it babe].

Blah, that’s enough for now.

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