For hash #461 we meet at the Upper Harbor – well, those of us who could find it did. Attendees include: Puff MDQ and snatch.cum (hares), Finger Nips, Dr. Nappy Headed ‘Ho, Banana, Broke Bench Mountain, Timmy!, Vince Lamblowme, Sheep Rocker, Just Brian (for now), Rod Lover, Choka Cola, Hairy Potter, My Lil’ Boney, CSI, Got Milk ?!, Just Zaga, Tiny Whiney Bitch, Goldie Coxxx, Aunt Cummima, Hogazm. Those were the half minds with enough of a sense of dire-erection to find the start. O’Holy Nuts, Hangs Loose, and Virgin Al Baby were brought into the safe harbor by CSI after wandering around admiring the scenery for nearly an hour. After circle up, Dog Breath, Hugh Heifer, and Mass Storage Device run up from below Frederick St. Park, obviously having parked at the other end of the harbor as well. This means that a full 20% of our pack could not follow the simple directions to the Upper Harbor. **Sigh**…makes my heart swell with pride for my pack.
Next in my trusty notebook are the words “I love the hash. Hash is my Life”. Yeah, this is why I rush home to write out every trash as soon as I can lest I forget a single detail. Also, I need to relive every moment over and over because I have no other life. Yeah…clearly a guerilla scribing there!
Timmy is proudly serving up martinis out of his trunk during prelube until he spills the whole concoction in his car. Hope he doesn’t get pulled over. Meanwhile, Banana is reliving the tales of the kissing bandit, which is apparently Choka’s Mr. Hyde after too many drinks. We circle up and Just Brian is awarded the hash shit (now proudly wearing an SC Police Star from 3-Times a Lady) for hashing with us 5 times over 8 years. The pack ambles up Arana Gulch, and Nips and I stay back to gossip, drain the trough, and drive up to beer check. Beer check is in the field behind Simkins Swin Center, where we have a beautiful sunset view, loads of hungry mosquitoes the size of pterodactyls, and the usual incredible spread put on by Puff.
At beer check we are entertained by a story by snatch about nearly being busted by a CHP while laying trail. It seems she was running down Seabright and noticed a cop slowing down and watching her as she ran and threw down flour. She sees him do a u-turn, and drive back toward her. What is her response? Well, naturally, she drops the flour bag, lifts up her shirt (under the guise of removing her sweatshirt), and shakes her hair as if she is Bo Derek emerging from the surf. He drove on. Good thing he didn’t choose to go behind Simkins Swim Center to relieve himself in private after that!
Religion is held above the Lower Harbor slightly up the trail into Arana Gulch. Down downs:
1. Beer fairy: Aunt Cummima
2. Hash Shit: Just Brian, and for his naming as well (finally, after 8 years). Fodder: his first hash was when Banana had the bar, he has taken so long to complete 5 hashes because he is a typical Santa Cruzan (aka SLACKER!), favorite barn animal is a sheep, first job was shoveling horse shit, he works in high tech, he was VP of marketing for a company that sells porn apps for cell phones. Thoughts: My Way, Slack It and Whack It, iPorn, Porn Pod…. It’s tabled for the moment.
3. False Starters: O’Holy Nuts, Hugh Heifer, MSD, Hangs Loose, and CSI (although he retrieved some of them and herded them back to start).
4. Analversary: Banana for 69 harings. He says it makes him feel sexy. We all need to hare – STEP UP FOLKS!!!
5. Tiny Whiney Bitch for rolling up in his tiny car. Then Icy Jackass appears, so she is called up for being VERY late. At this moment, one of the funniest events of the evening occurs: Brix, Icy’s giant German Shepard, literally leaps out of her control at the sight of Puff and bounds to him knocking him over for treats. Maybe that’ll teach Puff to store doggie biscuits with his real biscuits.
6. Got Milk?! and just Zaga for having a private party. They were talking about smoking cocks. Try lube. Hangs Loose also joins this party because he finally found religion. We don’t want to know what he was doing between beer check and this point…
7. Dog owners (we had many canines this evening): Nips, Hangs, Virgin Al, Icy, Hoggie, and BBM.
8. Just Brian for 8 years of hashing and just getting named. The tabled name is revisited, and it is decided that the iPod was invented for his former company’s app. Therefore, he becomes PornPod.
8. And the Hares: snatch.cum and Puff. The story of snatch’s flashing a CHP is relived again. I think the boys just like the image.
9. Virgin Al Baby. Hangs Loose made him cum (ewww, and with his dog too). He shows his chest, and we decide that is OK, although Got Milk?! is still sitting in the dirt waiting for more.
10. Just Zaga for wearing new shoes. She insists that they are not, so she gets to drink out of both. Good times.
And that concludes hash #461. May the hash get a piece!
Add as favorites (84) | 
Quote this article on your site | Views: 723 Comments (1) |
 |
Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register.
Powered by AkoComment Tweaked Special Edition v.1.4.6
AkoComment © Copyright 2004 by Arthur Konze - www.mamboportal.com
All right reserved