This week our Hare Couple, dBASED and Occasional Rapist, summoned the pack to Don Quixote’s in Felton. The Hares warned the pack they would have to climb over a 4 foot fence on trail. Wonder if that anything to do with why some folks chose to skip trail and remain at the bar. It was a dBASED trail after all. Anyway, the majority of the pack headed out in search of flour. After finding a false trail on Highway 9, we headed in the other direction and found ourselves on Felton Empire Road. I was hoping this was the first and last hill of the trail, but I was wrong. Luckily, some neighbors spotted the Hares and told us to turn right on what I think was Ashley St. We soon found ourselves at the Felton Cemetery. They always talk about the circle of life, well the remainder of the trail was a loop that started and ended at a graveyard! We saw a fence, but instead of climbing over it, Broke Bench Mountain got it open, and we walked though. The trail proceeded through the woods. Someone made a comment about how the woods reminded them of the Blair Witch Project. Luckily no witches were spotted and we made it through unscathed. The next part was through the scenic forest of Fall Creek Park. It was sure beautiful back there. After going through some neighborhoods, the trail lead us to Highway 9. We turned right on Blair Street. How ironic. Beer check was at the end of the road by the cemetery.
We had to drive to Pro Build for Religion. AccuPrick was RA, Vince Lamblowme was appointed Beer Fairy. Down Downs were awarded to the hashers who skipped trail, Pussy Galore and Great Barrier Queef. Six of Nine was punished with multiple down downs, which I’m sure he didn’t mind, because he normally drinks shitty beer and wanted to make sure he got his 8 bucks worth! He was the only one to pick up the nasty old tape measure on the side of the road, and someone caught him with his fly down. Apparently he wasn’t the only hasher caught pissing on trail. Vince Lamblowme, Cuff my Muff, Hairy Fuck 2.5, Six of Nine and Broke Bench Mountain were all punished for pissing on trail. Dog Breath was awarded a down down for his upcoming trip to Gay Parie. Pussy Galore joined him because she claimed to have just returned from Gay Parie. Puff the Magic Drag Queen was given the (self- proclaimed) Dunce of the Decade Award for not missing a Surf City hash in ten years! Get a Life! Thmp-Thmp was congratulated on his 25th Surf City Hash. Slonad was (again) punished for taking over a year to complete the prerequisite five hashes to receive a hash name. Occasional Rapist was congratulated on her 10th Haring this year! And last but not least, the Hares………….
On On,
Shallow Hole