This week our Hares Occasional Rapist and Wicked Retahted, summoned the pack to Castaways for a hash through their Pleasure Point hood. I wish I could say it was a pleasure, but I cannot. It was the first haring venture for Wicked Retahted, and who best to teach him but his friend, and “hash sponsor” Occasional Rapist. They took us through a poison oak lined ditch, Moron Lake and got us lost on East Cliff Drive. To further confuse things, dBASED, armed with green chalk, added his own markings to trail. I guess if you’re going to be lost, the beach is not a bad place to be lost. Right? Beer check was finally found at Occasional Rapist’s house. Some of the pack gave up and missed beer check and went straight to Religion. We had a family of hashers, Jizz Bollah, Cum & Go and Son Oliver crash beer check. Not sure how they found us. Apparently they haven’t hashed in a while, but can still sniff out the beer.
Religion was at Wicked Retahted’s house. Accuprick was RA, and Hugh Heifer was Beer Fairy. Broke Bench Mountain and Accuprick started a bon fire in Wicked Retahted’s yard, so it was warm and cozy when the rest of the hashers arrived. We were introduced to visitors Just Jordan from Houston, TX and Just Gregg from Portland, OR. They work together and were in CA on business. They said they drove all the way from Pleasanton to seek out Surf City H3. They were looking for a non-athletic H3 group that wouldn’t make them run 5 miles. Guess we have a reputation. LOL. Just Gregg told a lame joke. The pack was delighted when Just Jordan flashed her tits. A family of back sliders were called up, Mother’s Little Felcher, Sausage Slam and 9 month old daughter virgin Brooke. Broke Bench Mountain celebrated his 175th Surf City Hash by climbing up on Wicked Retahted’s garage roof. Thankfully he did not jump! dBASED was punished for screwing up trail with his green chalk marks. Occasional Rapist and Wicked Retahted drank too. It was pointed out that Occasional Rapist and dBASED were dressed alike. How cute! Cuff my Muff, Banana Basher, and My Little Bony were punished for driving from the bar straight to Religion (in a Prius). Twat did you Say taught the pack the sign for vagina and told us how she is going to take a group of deaf high school kids on a trip to Washington, DC. Wicked Retahted was awarded an experienced hare patch. There was some singing and dancing around the fire. To my knowledge, we did not burn down the neighborhood. And last but not least, the Hares………….