Ciao Hashers!  Waxi and I had a great in time vacationing in Italy, but we’re happy to be back home in Santa Cruz.  We drank wine every day for 3 weeks, so I was happy to find out this week, our Hare TIMMY!, was summoning the pack to Santa Cruz Mountain Brewery for some locally brewed organic beer!   It was a lovely night for a hash.  Most of the pack was too busy socializing to realize that the hare had left.  We know by now that his directions would’ve been useless.  Better not to pay attention.  There was a check by the railroad tracks on Swift St.  We knew we were doomed.  Instead of the flat and easy ocean side, we were headed towards the hills.  The trail went across Highway 1 into Wilder Ranch on the Moore Creek Trail.  We climbed a big hill, but were treated to a lovely ocean view from up there.  The trail continued and went to the right.  There was some poison oak and a fence to climb through.  Wildlife was spotted on trail.  There were sightings of deer, coyote, bobcat, Dog Breath, and maybe a unicorn, depending on who you ask.  Luckily, no hashers were harmed.  We ended up on Meder St, walked past a Jewish Cemetery, and then went through a park, to Noble Dr.  Right about now, we were all really thirsty and hoping beer check was somewhere soon.  After walking down a steep hill on Miramar, we saw the glorious beer near mark heading straight to TIMMY’s house.  We were served beer, ribs and martinis.  Yum!  I feel sorry for the hashers that didn’t do trail and missed beer check.

Religion was near the start next to the railroad tracks.  Accuprick was RA.  He appointed Great Barrier Queef as his Beer Fairy.  The first down downs were awarded to hashers that did not do trail.  Pussy Galore, Great Barrier Queef, My Little Bony, and Twat did you Say?  Banana Basher took off and did not receive his down down.  Twat did you Say? was all decked out in a sexy red dress.  She denied rumors of being a porn star and said she came from the graduation ceremony at the school she teaches at.  Vegetarians, Hugh Heifer and Puff the Magic Drag Queen were called up for not eating the ribs.  Luckily martinis are vegan!  They told an interesting story of how Hugh got too drunk at last week’s hash and had to crash at Puff’s house.  She slept in his bed and then stole his chair to take to the Full Moon Hash Campout last weekend.  Nice!  After some negotiation, the chair was returned in one piece.  Brokebench Mountain was punished for acting up on trail.  dBASED was ridiculed for writing the times he arrived at every check.  Evidently a Long Beach Hash tradition that no one else heard about until now.  And last but not least, the Hare, TIMMY!

Don’t forget Wharf to Barf weekend is July 20-22.  Details to follow……….

P.S.  Congratulations to Occasional Rapist and dBASED on their engagement!  Some people find poison oak on trail, some hashers are lucky enough to find love.  May your beer mugs be overfilled with happiness and your trail through life be shiggy free!

On On,

Shallow Hole