This week our Hare Timmy!!! summoned the pack to the Parish House on the West Side.  Despite the threat of rain, the weather held out and there were no soggy hashers.  We had a visitor, Just Brian from Nashville, TN.  He said he didn’t do anything stupid enough for them to name him yet.  Rod Lover re-surfaced after a year and a half.  It just so happened to be his birthday and his present was a threesome with 2 tender young things, Just Christina and Virgin Jaime.  Not sure where Just Christina hashed before, but she came dressed to party wearing a shiny pink thong body suit over her running clothes.  Virgin Jaime wore a green tutu and had no idea what she was getting into.  Hugh Heifer didn’t care about anything except beer and the A’s game.   Princess Diarrhea agreed to be her wing man and stayed behind at the bar to watch the game.  Turns out they had the right idea.  It was already dark when the pack set out.  Masochistic Timmy!!! chose the hilly side of Mission Street for the majority of his trail.  Aside from big ass hills, there was a treacherously steep downhill dirt trail, followed by a steep uphill trail.  At least there was a bottle of tequila on the way up.  We finally descended down Western Drive back across Mission Street.  Timmy!!! must’ve felt remorseful, because beer check was at Santa Cruz Mountain Brewery.   We were welcomed to an open tab for all the hashers!

Religion was in the parking lot behind Safeway.  Hugh Heifer and Princess Diarrhea were there with the beer wagon!  Accuprick was RA, and he named Just Christina his Beer Fairy.  She was particularly fond of the Tiara, and enjoyed the first down down of the evening.  Next we heard from backsliders.  Rod Lover received a lovely rendition of Happy Birthday fuck you and a down down.  Cuff my Muff showed up at religion in time to take a down down.  She’s been at class on Thursday nights and thinks it is more important to get edumacated.  However, this particular evening, she told the teacher she had a headache and took off.  She was also congratulated for quitting smoking!  How awesome is that?  Deep Stroke was punished for her perversion.  What else is new?  She tried to climb into a kiddy cart in front of Safeway.  Accuprick gave himself a down down for “cultural sensitivity” in recognition of National Coming Out Day.   Our visitor, Just Brian was officially welcomed to the hash.  Our very own GA Timmy!!! was punished for the crime of not remembering that I, Shallow Hole, was part of mismanagement.  He blamed it on alcohol, weed and old age.  Dementia is a possibility,considering he is old enough to be retired.  Sounds like I have a free pass to make fun of him and spread nasty rumors about him, because I know he never reads my hash trash!  For instance, I heard Deep Stroke is in the process of staging a coo against him to elect an all-female mismanagement for next year.  Next, Virgin Jaime delighted the pack by showing her butt.  We had the very unusual Surf City H3 occurrence of 2 namings in one night!  Just Christina was sent away while the pack deliberated and brought back 3 snails she found on the ground, so she was named Shiny Snail Trail.  Just Ted, a mathematician, was named Schlong Division!  And last but not least, the Hare………………………

See everybody this Thursday 10/18/12 at Bogey’s Bar & Grill in Seascape Golf Club, 610 Clubhouse Dr., Aptos, where we will be in pursuit of the Princess Diarrhea and Thmp-Thmp, AKA “The Squirrel”

On On,

Shallow Hole

P.S.  Get your costumes out for the Halloweenie Hash on 10/25/12!  Occasional Rapist and I are planning a frightening trail for you wankers.  And make sure you wear something you can run in!