This week, our Hares, Puff the Magic Drag Queen and his young whippersnapper, Dung Fu Grip, brought the pack to The Crepe Place. Weren’t we just in Seabright? Our GM TIMMY!!! had an appropriate quote for the night. He said “There are NO rules in the hash!”
Since Puff was haring, I collected Hash Cash this week. Thank you to all who brought exact change! I’ve never seen so many dollar bills! Next time I’m going to wear a garter and have a little fun! Hash Flash is courtesy of dBASED. We had a visitor, Ascott to Mouth, whose home hash is in Germany. Infamous Hasher, Hangs Loose “a legend in his own mind” came out of hash retirement to join in the festivities. From the look of his beer gut, he didn’t give up the drinking part. He said that back in the day, he was a good runner and their hash actually had a race team! My how things have changed! Hairy Fuck 2.5 and Just Sarah returned from their drinking tour around Europe. Just Ron showed up for his second hash. It only took him 8 months to come back. We must’ve made quite an impression! Who DIDN’T we see this week? That would be Deep Stroke, who FINALLY left on her RV road trip. I know Puff misses her terribly, and has been crying on his pillow every night since she left.
The pack circled up in front of The Crepe Place and headed out. It was a little tough finding the start of trail. dBASED crossed the street and found flour in a parking lot and yelled On On! The pack lost trail again around Water Street, but eventually found flour and headed in the direction of N Branciforte Ave. There was a check on the corner of Water Street and N Branciforte. When there was no flour in the direction of the ocean or downtown, the only other direction to go was N Branciforte Ave. WTF? After meandering a while, trail lead left down Goss and right onto Branciforte straight toward Delavega Park. After climbing the big ass hill into the park, trail veered off to the right on the single track trails lined with poison oak. Funckin A! Thought we wouldn’t need shiggy socks this week!
Nipple Butt was the only one who seemed to be thrilled to be there. After making it to the top and traversing the golf course, the pack found its way back into the woods. This area seemed to be a hot spot for teenagers drinking in the woods. 
Along with the array of various empty beer cans and liquor bottles, we came across an empty container of Boost nutritional supplement. What the hell was that doing there? We use this stuff all the time for old and sick people in the hospital. Puff is a senior citizen. Maybe he drank it on trail to keep up with his young co-hare. But Puff isn’t a litterbug. Are teenagers stealing their Grandma’s Boost as well as raiding her liquor cabinet? We’ll probably never know the truth. After surviving the woods, we crashed some homeless guy’s living room next to the bridge on Morrissey. Luckily he didn’t come after us. Trail lead us back across Soquel, through a parking lot, and an alley next to the library and right on Hanover, when we saw the glorious marking BN! Beer check was in someone’s yard.
Religion was a casa di Puff. Puff put out a lovely display of cheese and crackers and veggies and dip! Yay Puff! dBASED was RA. A miracle happened at the hash. dBASED appointed Hangs Loose as his Beer Fairy! Everybody knows that dBASED NEVER has a Beer Fairy!
TIMMY!!! got a down down for going to SFH3 red dress last weekend and for growing up in San Francisco. “Racists” Occasional Rapist, Ascott to Mouth and yours truly, Shallow Hole were punished for talking about running races. Wicked Retahted, Banana Basher and Cuff My Muff drank for not being at the beer check. None of them were on trail either. Hangs Loose was chastised for being a backslider. Banana Basher stepped in and defended him and drank his down down. Hairy Fuck 2.5 and Just Sarah drank for being DFL’s. Visitor, Ascott to Mouth was welcomed to the hash. Yours truly, Shallow Hole got a patch for my 100th Surf City Hash. Get a life! Banana Basher said he never thought I would stick around. Guess I’m just as demented as the rest of you wankers! Dung Fu Grip got a patch for his first Haring of a Surf City trail. And last but not least, the Hares…………………………………………………………………
Hope to see everyone next weekend for Wharf to Barf! It’s sure to be a good time! Even if you don’t remember it! We have a Prelube hash on Thursday night, Pub Crawl Friday night, trail, BBQ and Waxi Pad’s band on Saturday afternoon, and another trail on Sunday afternoon. The main event is drinking of course. Cum 1 day or all 4 if you dare!
On On,
Shallow Hole
P.S. You will need shiggy socks next week!
