VD Hash

This week was the VD Hash, brought to us by Occasional Rapist and Shallow Hole. We started out this week at Suda, which is way too swanky for us, so we had to stay outside. Luckily there were heat lamps. It was probably for the best because it was yet another theme run. This week’s theme: pink, red, miniskirts, and kilts. The couple dining in the front window bore the full brunt of our intrusion as Dung Fu Grip stripped down to his red lingerie no more than six inches from their faces with only a thin piece of glass between them. And he didn’t even offer them any of his boob candy. The boob candy seemed pretty popular with everyone else, but somehow I abstained.
Wicked brought another virgin and they, once again, they skipped trail. Paki Sack showed up warning us of a “FHAC-U invasion.” It turned out to be an invasion of just him.
Trail headed out south on Portola, right past Frenchy’s. Maybe that’s where we lost Wicked. He was probably running low on giant dildos and lube so he figured it was a good time to stock up. A few other hashers ventured inside, but when there were no treats for us (ala Deep Stroke’s B-Day Hash) we continued on.

It turned out to be a pretty straight shot down through the Opal Cliffs neighborhood and then right back again. I think there was some circle jerk on the railroad tracks, but as a DFL, I got to skip all of that. The majority of the way back was along the beach, with a beautiful view of the ocean and the starry sky. There was a kiss check! Hugh Heifer pulled her pants down and told Broke Bench and Fap Jack to kiss her ass. Fap Jack decided to wait there for me instead. Awwwwww.
There was a lot of going away from the water and then going back toward it again. Somewhere in a dark alley there was a champagne check. How romantic.
Somewhere along the way trail went through the backyard of Virgin Alice. She and her boyfriend, Virgin Ryan, were just returning from a run and Paki and Thmp Thmp convinced them to join us. I wonder if they knew what they were getting into.
We lost a few people when we were near Wicked’s house and it became apparent that the trail continued. But for those of us that made it all the way to beer check down at Pleasure Point, there was a beautiful check waiting for us with candlelight and cock-shaped cupcakes. They were a little smushed, and I hear this was Wicked’s fault for not helping to carry them down. Squished or not, everyone got their pick of black or white cock with their beer.
We heading on in to Wicked Retahted’s backyard where there was a fire and pizza waiting for us. It was very tasty pizza. Dung Fu Grip chose Princess Di as his beer fairy because she was already wearing a tiara. Virgin Lannette (Wicked Retahted made her come) sang “Yellow Submarine.” Virgin Alice showed her butt! Virgin Ryan told a joke about whales, but all the interruptions messed up the timing and then no one laughed. So he also showed his butt. I wonder if that’s how they thought their evening would go.

On On,
PCL