This week, Hugh Heifer brought the pack to Callahan’s.  This was my first time in the joint.   There are some dive bars in Santa Cruz that are even too low life for hashers , and I figured there must be some reason why we never frequent this place.  It wasn’t as bad as I expected.  The chick tending bar was super friendly and we got served quickly.  There were rumors this place had a stripper pole at one time, and certain hashers were the reason they decided to get rid of it.  The ladies room was a shit hole, but you can get a “love kit” for 50 cents!  Damn!  I didn’t have any change!

Hugh somehow persuaded Dung Fu Grip to be her Co-Hare, AKA her Back Check Bitch.  I’m sure there was some bribery involved.  After the Hares left, some hashers amused themselves by straddling the saddle and playing rodeo cowboy. 

The pack headed out and followed the flour across Ocean St, through the courthouse parking lot to San Lorenzo Park.  I was the lone FRB at that point and some concerned homeless folks spotted me searching around for flour and asked if I was ok.   This took me off guard, since it seems more likely for them to ask me for spare change or if I want to get high.  There was a check on the river levee and the rest of the pack caught up with me.   Trail continued past the Warrior Arena, up the stairs to Beach Hill and down to the Boardwalk, over the train trestle, left on East Cliff Drive.  We crossed through a field and found beer check at Hugh’s friend Jim’s house on Pearl St.  Hugh really has a way with men!  This guy let us invade his yard, use his bathroom and cooked us a bunch of food!  Trail was 3.33 miles according to Occasional Rapist’s GPS.

Religion was in the medical office complex across the street from the bar.  Accuprick was RA, and Occasional Rapist was Beer Fairy.  Dirty Dolmas and Twat did you Say? were punished for short cutting trail.  Wicked Retahted was called up for doing reverse cowgirls on the saddle at the bar.  Ralph Crammed-In was punished as a backslider and for being so damned skinny.  Yours truly, Shallow Hole, was also punished for being a backslider since I missed 2 weeks while traveling.  Pink Cherry Licker made accusations of shitty markings on trail.  There was also an accusation of an assassination attempt by dog leash.  Twat did you Say?  got tangled up in Nippleless Butt’s leash.  dBASED accused her of not running fast enough.  Twisted Fister was accused of being a wino drinking on the railroad tracks.  See what hashing will do to you?  Phyllis Driller was not seen on trail, but showed up at the end.  Accuprick thanked Jim, or beer check host.  Hugh made him cum!  He said he was from Surf City, NJ.  It’s a town on Long Beach Island.  It’s a cool place.  My friends and I rented a house there for vacation many years ago and we tripped out on the beach.

dBASED was congratulated on his 575^th hash!  He was ecstatic.  Can’t you see the excitement on his face?  And last but not least, the Hares………………….

See all you Wankers on Thursday at Salsa’s on Mt Hermon Road in Scotts Valley.  The place was formally known as KFC.

On On,

Shallow Hole