The luau themed Hash 747, aka Ocassional Rapist’s Birthday Hash, aka the Airplane Hash, started at Aloha Island Grille on Portola. Even though a good portion of the pack skipped out on the Surf City Hash that night to go to Whip It Out at the Ball Game (more like Get Kicked Out at the Ball Game), we still had a great turn out! The weather was beautiful and our hares took full advantage of that leading us around the neighborhoods and beaches and under an incredible moon hanging low in the sky. Anyone who sat inside instead of coming to this hash really missed out.

We started off toward the beach, down a false, and eventually figured out that we were being circle jerked back in the other direction. But it really wouldn’t be a D’BASED trail if there wasn’t a really confusing start. We headed away from the beach, through the neighborhoods, and into the shiggy. We crossed a little creek where Twat Did You Say? Found someone’s burner phone. We went by a lagoon where I got mosquito bites on my sunburn. Then we came out on to 7^th and headed back to the beach.

Just before rounding the corner to beer check, Fingernips and I saw a rat eating one of the flour marks on the beach. So disgusting. What wasn’t disgusting was spread of food laid out for us at beer check. Do it yourself spam musubi, cupcakes, and……beer! We enjoyed our feast for awhile before heading to the next beach over for religion.

Dung Fu Grip served as RA and chose Shady Curtains as his Beer Fairy. Dog Breath’s bowl was somehow broken and now he has to drink out of a half bowl, but Dung Fu took no pity on him and instead poured an entire beer over Dog Breath’s head in retaliation for the incident several weeks ago. Wicked Retahted did his best to live up to his name, by generally trying to hold up the proceedings and push some random lady who hadn’t done trail up in circle. Fap Jack and I got called up for not getter lei-ed. (I swear we had leis at some point). We had three Virgins! Virgin Alex told joke that make sense, Virgin Mel told a joke that didn’t, and Virgin Sean showed his butt. Mortal Enema, Cum Pumper, and Hooker on Cronix, Bitch were called up as backsliders. There were a bunch of visitors. And the hares! We called up D’BASED and Occasional for their shitty trail.

And did I mention the moon?