Puff the Magic Drag Queen and Dung Fu Grip summoned the pack to the Crepe Place.  AKA the Creepy Place.  Since Puff was haring, Princess Di (arrhea) did hash cash and Fingernips was guest hash flasher.  Banana Basher made it out this week.  Hell, the bar is only a few blocks from his house!  I hear he rarely leaves his man cave these days.  His drinking buddy Apple Bobber showed up in his work duds.

There was some breakage and spillage at the bar.  TIMMY!!! was drinking his usual martini, knocked over his drink and broke the glass (for the nineteenth time)!  There was no blood drawn, but I would still classify that as alcohol abuse! 

Plastic Pussy resurfaced after a year!  You think he would have a good excuse.  He said he was just being lazy.  We had a Virgin this week!  Virgin Travis was “sponsored” by Just Jeremiah and Just Marisol.  I’m sure the bar was thrilled to get rid of us when the pack left.

Trail started out simple enough.  There were no checks initially.  We went left out the front door of the bar, left on Cayuga Street.  There was a check 1 block down.  I’m assuming that this is the place where we lost the “non runners”.  On On was called going left down Hanover, then left down an alley.  We meandered around neighborhood streets until we ended up on Soquel Avenue.  Trail headed right down Capitola Road to 7^th avenue.  We finally ended up going down by the Harbor, down a shiggy hill to a bum wine check.  Then we had to cross the big log across the water to get to the other side.  Last time we did that, it was at night.  This was definitely better than pitch dark at night.  Dung Fu later said he was listening to Jewish Folk Music and that’s what inspired him to buy the Manischewitz wine.  TIMMY!!! is half Jewish and drinking it reminded him of happy memories of Passover at Aunt Ethyl and Uncle Morty’s house.  I can only claim Jewish by insemination.  La Heim!

Trail continued through Arena Gulch up a hill.  Then we went down through some shiggy and had to slide down a steep hill on our asses.  There was a turkey eagle split.  TIMMY!!! took the turkey trail.  I was on the eagle and met up with Diddler on the Roofie and Thmp-Thmp.  We climbed up a hill through some massive shiggy that included picker bushes and PO.  Lesson learned.  Wear shiggy socks because you never know where the damn Hares will go next.  The turkeys and eagles met back up again at the top.  We were at Fredrick Street Park.  It seemed like it took the same time for TIMMY!!! to meet back up with us again.  We were on Harbor and saw evidence of a “Hare Snare”.  We ran through a church parking lot, through a school and meandered our way to Seabright to beer check and religion at Puff’s house.  My watch said 3.85 miles.

Accuprick was RA and appointed Twat do you Say? the beer fairy because she went to her school’s graduation and was dressed in a pretty pink dress.  No one could find the crown, so she wore Dung Fu’s unicorn hat.  Poor Nippless Butt’s feet were bleeding for some unknown reason.  Otherwise he appeared fine.  Since there was dog blood in the circle, Dog Breath was called up for a down down.  Twisted Fister had blood on trail, so he drank too.  Wankers who didn’t do trail were called up next.  Just Chip, Wicked Retahted, Banana Basher and Apple Bobber all were looking mighty lit and drank a down down.  Wicked stayed there to receive a gift, a Retard Hasher shirt from Accuprick.  If the shoe fits……..  Moose Turd Pie accused the hares of a crime. The eagle trail was shorter than the turkey.  That from a guy who showed up to hash in jeans and street clothes.  He wants it longer and harder!  Plastic Pussy was called up for being a backslider.  He said he was out running drunk by himself and ended up getting arrested and sent to jail!  Well now that you’re back, you can run drunk with 20 other people.  There’s safety in numbers.  Dog Breath, Mothers Little Felcher and Moose Turd Pie snared a hare- Puff.  Give the old man a break!  Dung Fu ran through a group of church camp children to avoid being snared.  There were a few Analveraries.  Moose Turd Pie celebrated his 5^th Surf City Hash!  Diddler on the Roofie and Fap Jack celebrated 25 hashes.  Occasional Rapist celebrated 150 hashes!  Get a life!  Virgin Travis was called up.  Just Jeremiah made him cum.  He told a joke and showed us a tattoo on his ass cheek.  Nice!  TIMMY!!! was called up for breaking a glass at the bar.  He will now be drinking from a TIMMMY!!! Tippy cup.  Fap Jack was called up because he celebrated his 30^th birthday this past week.  Happy Birthday, fuck you!  dBASED was called up for being “too red”.  He got a sunburn on his head.  Congratulations to Hot Wheels who graduated high school this week!  And last but not least, the Hares…………………………..

This week we will be convening at the Aloha Grille on Portola Drive for Occasional Rapist’s Aloha Birthday hash, and their pre-lube for SDH3 RDR!  See you there!

On On,

Shallow Hole