Salavations,

Consider this your final warning pertaining to Countdown Trail 7…6…5, October 2nd.

I am aware that most of you received lumps of coal for Christmas when you were children. For this trail though, Dung-Fu Grip and Puff the Magic Drag Queen will take that lump of coal you so richly deserved and press it into a diamond for you.

Beginning from Santa Cruz Mountain Brewery, your hare-pair will gift you a self-guided tour of a collection of the “less-visited/seldom-seen”, shall we term them, areas of Westside Santa Cruz. A few are difficult to find, a few no one WISHES to visit and a small number could best be described by the adjective “dangerous”. With the approach of winter, dark and (hopefully) rain, we believe it incumbent upon us to separate the wheat from the chaff, the real hashers from the fair-weather variety.

Puff has noted a serious lack of flashlights on trail this month. This trail contains a section practically non-negotiable without the assistance of a torch. This trail will feature areas fun yet challenging for dogs but damn well impossible for strollers. Length, assuming you are stupid enough to finish it and smart enough not to become lost, will tip the scales around the 3 mile mark, with the obvious exception of dBASED who will turn this pleasant jaunt into a half-marathon. There will be the standard Beer Check and Face Feed, undeserving of either though you are and will be located wherever the hell we think we can get away with it. We desire no Bacon Queef-inspired encounters with coppers. Religion will be along the tracks near Mountain Brewery. Due to trail’s inherent technical difficulty, anticipate a hares-out time close to the 6:35 markings on the clock face. As an aside, this Thursday at Mountain Brewery is a benefit for Santa Cruz Public Libraries so you may wish to have two pints prior to on-out.

Best Wishes for a speedy recovery,

Dung-Fu Grip

Puff the Magic Drag Queen