Those of you who did not make the trek over the hill missed out on a great day!  Here’s a recap of what went down!

It was a lovely afternoon in Sunnyvale.  The kegs were tapped and hashers were socializing in a shady corner of the picnic area.  There was a group of people setting up pink tablecloths and decorations next to us.  Oh crap!  We were sharing the picnic area with 100 people having a christening party!  Apparently they shelled out the bucks to reserve the area.  Suckin’ Up Spouse later confessed that the hash did not reserve a picnic area.

I already fulfilled my exercise quota for the day, so I did not do trail.  Waxi Pad and I were much happier sitting in the shade drinking beer.  Thmp-Thmp was my eye witness reporter and gave me the low down.  Suckin’ Up Spouse and Butt Balls were Hares.  Butt Balls claimed he was injured, so Cums With Instructions served as stunt hare.  Trail pretty much sucked. Big surprise!  True Trail was hard to find at the first check.  The hares took the pack down some busy streets to a bar called Blue Bonnet.   It was hotter than hell in there!  Everybody was gathering around the only air conditioning vent in the bar in order to cool down. Trail bee lined it back along a culvert/water way. When the pack got to street or railroad crossings there was a fence on either side and most of them had holes for us to slip through.  At one point dBASED went through one fence then crossed 4 sets of railroad tracks and came running back saying we needed to go under the tracks via with pipe because there was no hole in the other fence.  Anyone who knows dBASED, knows to be leery when he gives you directions on trail.  Thmp-Thmp saw a huge hole in the fence and they went through the hole.  The pack had to climb the last fence.  Everybody made it over fine, but Summer’s Yeast kept saying, “I better not rip my $75 Lu Lu Lemon’s”.  What ever! She’s a new Harriette, so I will give her some advice.  NEVER wear expensive clothes to a hash!  It’s very likely that you will tear your clothes, or get dirt, mud, or blood on them.  After the fence, the pack split up, some took true trail, while others (Thmp-Thmp) said “fuck that shit” and went straight back to the park.  Religion was held in the bleachers.  Suckin’ Up Spouse was RA.  He rambled on for hours and hours while we baked in the hot sun.  There was a big spread of food ready for us when it was over.

Then it was time to play ball!  In Sloshball, you pitch to your own team.  Butt Balls did an awesome job as our pitcher.   Harriettes can choose to flash to get on first base.  The other rule is that when you get to second base, you must NOT cross the line without chugging a beer.   This rule was strictly enforced.  Team Simon G String recruited some young athletic virgins, and out of town hashers (like Cums with Instructions), to play for their team.  Since I can’t play softball, I elected to cheer and pour beer at second base with Ram Pam, GAS, and other Harriettes.  Just Robin also opted for second base.  I was warned to watch out for shady behavior.  In a past year, the ladies spiked the beers with vodka and got the opposing team wasted.  There was a pretty good view from second base.  There was cold beer and shade.  There was only one near miss when a ball came straight at us.  No one spilled their beer.

It was a close game!  The Simon G String young studs seemed to be making most of the defensive plays in left field.  It was a hard fought battle, but our team came through in the end!  We won 12 to 11.    Tits and Game won MVP!  She did a great job at first base!  Twisted Fister played short stop and caught a lot of balls flying at his face.   He also kept getting called out for clapping every time one of the male virgins showed us a little booty.  Timmy had to look away every time Pink Cherry Licker was up to bat, as he knew she wasn’t going to bat because she didn’t have a bat in her hand.  Princess Di (arrhea) was catcher, but then realized it was more fun on second base.  Summer’s Yeast tried to bat once, but then came to the conclusion that she was better off flashing.  She did have some issues with the second base rule.  I almost had to tackle her at the end because she was close to crossing the line.  It was a pretty fair game.  There was only one argument with the umpires about a call.  I was drinking and didn’t know what it was about.  Thmp-Thmp played one inning and relied heavily on his shit talking skills to help our team win.  Paki Sack got least valuable player.  Stick to cricket dude!

After the game, there was a trophy presentation.  Suckin’ Up Spouse announced that since they did not spend money to rent the picnic area, they had $300 bucks to spend at the bar!  I’m sure those who stayed the night had a great time!

Big thanks are due to:

Our GM’s and most excellent organizers – Princess Di (arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp

Twisted Fister – Team Captain for Over the Hill Drunks

Butt Balls – Organizer, team co-captain, equipment lugger

Lil Anal Annie – Hash Hash (food)

Suckin’ Up Spouse – Organizer, hare and RA

Cums With Instructions – Stunt hare

Nothing Interesting – Beermeister

Morning Missile- Organizer and BREWMASTER (He made all the beer!), but he was traveling and not present at the event

DuHHH – Hash cash

…and thanks to all of the Simon G-Strings for being such gracious hosts and losers.

It was a great group effort on everybody’s part.  I’m looking forward to next year!

On On,

Shallow Hole