It was TIMMY!!!’s 65th birthday and it appears age might be catching up to him from the looks of this trail. Virgin hare TitsNGame may be off her game too from the way this trail went down.
The half minds met at Ye ‘Ole Watering Hole. TIMMY!!! told everyone TitsNGame had a birthday coming up too. Her (first) husband Just Nate whispered it was actually last Friday. It is the old man’s 65th so what can you expect? Turns out you can expect many more questions from what we found on this trail.
Accuprick showed up with a tapped knee. No one asked what he was doing on his knees to wear them out, probably because they were too scared he’d offer to show instead of tell. I overheard ThmpThmp, Princess Di (arrhea) & Accuprick talking about eating like a man with two assholes. I didn’t ask for details. Foot Pussy showed up with a fanny pack to soothe his ass swelling. Again, no need to ask for details, but there was something said about a motorcycle gang. Summer’s Yeast had her new shiggy socks that declared her the wino we know her to be.
Trail started off from the back of Ye ‘Ole Watering Hole where New Kids on My Cock threw down Party Snaps to get the hashers moving. This Dementia Trail as we came to call it was a maze of back checks, missing liquor checks and half minds wondering aimlessly. As the hashers set out on trail, there was quickly a check followed by another check that kept hashers moving in every direction.
Liquor check was stashed under a bridge and while hashers found the LC, there was none of the famous Fireball Whiskey that the TIMMY!!! hashes are known for. Some lucky people beat the hashers to it. Bacon Queef was packing so some of the half minds got a LC at least. Others made their own by stopping at the neighborhood liquor store while they questioned where this trail was headed.
After that, trail went into the Bermuda Circles where some parts were never found again. There was a 5 back check, a 7 back check, and a 9 back check. At one point, hashers ran into each other as some came from the back of the trail while others ran what they think was true trail. Ho to Housewife finally just took off and found trail on her own. The rest of us suffered a little longer trying to find true trail.
Finally, everyone made it to beer check at TIMMY’S!!! where there was beer and fancy tiramisu and a rare Ms. TIMMY!!! sighting. Ms. TIMMY!!! accompanied the hashers on accordion as they sang Happy Birthday Fuck You to the possibly senile TIMMY!!! Pink Cherry Licker had put together a beer can walker to help the old guy out, it’s a good thing too because he probably needed it by the end of this night.
There was a rumor spreading around that Grocho Cocks picked up an abondoned phone at beer check to take a photo of his cock. Wicked Retarhdard said, “that sounds like a little problem to me.” Hashers considered renaming him iCock.
Religion was held behind Safeway. The trail must have really worn out Hugh Heifer and Electric Labia Land because they set up a cozy blanket and snuggled in like they were on a picnic or something. I overheard Hugh Heifer and Occasional Rapist talking about the missing liquor check and how they knew how to hide liquor down holes better than these hares. No one commented on that.
There was a resurrection on trail when TitsNGame & Bacon Queef showed up with the missing Fire Ball, preserving the TIMMY!!! legacy of making Fire Ball a part of the trail. Someone asked what Fapjack wore under his kilt, he said “several shades of lipstick thank you very much”
Accuprick was the RA. He selected Groucho Cocks as beer fairy.
Crimes on trail included Flapjack & PCL missing liquor check, Shiny Snail Trail for backsliding (who was nostalgic for her naming in this very spot a few years ago), Dung Fu called Bacon Queef out for Chivalry on trail and Ho to Housewife was called for finding trail on her own.
We had one virgin, Virgin Jo, brought by Bacon Queef. Timmy pushed his walker through the half mind crowd hoping Virgin Jo would choose to show a body part only to be disappointed with a lame joke.
We had a few birthdays including Timmy who slowly made his way up using his new walker, Tits N Game, Stub Rub and Just Foot Pussy. Happy Birthday Fuck You to all of them!
Twisted Fister celebrated hash 69. (Get a life!)
Hares Timmy & TitsNGame were called up and that made it a night for this hash.
Hashers went on to the Parish Publick House for on on on.
That’s the trash for Hash 768!