Hash 779 started with hashers gathered around the bar (where you can usually find them) at Palomar in the harbor and a group of harriettes gathered around backslider Penis Is Good For Me fondling his stiff necklace.
Sausage Sampler visited from Quad Cities, Iowa and showed us how they hash over there. If he’s their representative they must be a crazy batch of hashers.
After a round or two, Father Daughter Hare Duo TIMMY!! and Pink Cherry Licker set out and hashers warmed up with another beer before heading out after them.
Trail started through the parking lot and up 6th Avenue where there was a lot of confusion and circling back on each other. Eventually trail was found again and we headed further into the harbor. This trail was brutal with a YBF that extended past Simpkins and not one LC!
Finally, this trail came to an end at Twin Lakes Park where DFL Just Foot Pussy strolled in after hashers had already been boozing it up for a bit.
Hooker on Chronics Bitch was talking some trash about being Urkel then told everyone to keep it quiet. She was talking to the hash scribe so that plan was blown like a toothless prositute.
Religion was picturesque with a bonfire on Twin Lakes Beach. In a rare sympathetic moment, Co-GM ThmpThmp decided religion should move away from the AA group meeting at the bonfire next door to show some respect. That may have been a neglected crime that night. Especially considering the AA-ers torched a rocking horse in their bonfire 20 minutes later. Innocence was burned to the ground, resulting in some awesome hash trash that Fucked Over Fest threatened to leave in some Hasher’s beds if they don’t’ watch it.
As hashers circled up, Wicked Retarhded introduced himself (again) to fellow hashers. Dog Breath & Dung Fu stripped down and jumped in the ocean. Turns out shrinkage is a real thing, folks.
Accuprick was the RA and Canadian Penny Slut was the Beer Fairy.
Hashers were rowdy as usual.
Dog Breath & Dung Fu were called up for their cold water swim and hashers sang “It’s a small dick after all.”
Dung Fu lost his shorts at least once and Finger Nipps couldn’t keep her hands off his horns.
Sausage Sampler was called up for visiting from Queer City Hash.
We all know hashers are bad at foreplay and tonight was no exception, they kept starting songs in the middle of a verse then everyone else kept singing over and over and over.
Then the backsliders were called up for a down-down:
Summers Yeast
Stub Rub
Just Foot Pussy
Fucked Over Fest
Broke Bench
Anyone who didn’t have a bottle opener was called up, which included pretty much everyone.
Occasional rapist was called out by (current) husband dBASED for technology on trail.
Then the Hares!
Accuprick accused the trail of losing hashers. Pink Cherry Licker told a story about letting her real crazy out while she ran on the tracks to ward off other crazies. The trail was 5 miles long and left some hashers in the dust looking for shortcuts.
That’s the Hash Trash, wankers!
Cock Throbbin