Hash # 787 brought the pack to Pono downtown.  There were high expectations from the hare pair of Ho to Housewife and Cock Throbbin.  Their trail announcement promised not to kill anybody!  I am happy to say that they succeeded in their mission, because I am not aware of any deaths on trail.  Our GM’s Princess Di(arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp made it to the start, but had to ditch the pack to go to someone’s birthday dinner.  Maybe they got a tip that trail would be extra shitty and wanted to bail.  My Garmin clocked trail at 3.17 miles to beer check.  It was a little jaunt around Pono, up to Mission, to Walnut, to California, down Laurel.  There was a mysterious back check 5 that took a little while to solve because the Hares miscounted.  Trail went down California to a liquor check at the entrance to Neary Lagoon.  It was some nasty red stuff in a mason jar that I was unable to identify.  We had the pleasure of a long stretch down the railroad tracks, smelling the stench from the water treatment plant.  The smell even scared away the homeless from the area!  Then we exited by the soccer field and headed up West Cliff to a beer check on the cliff with a lovely view of the wharf and boardwalk.

Religion was held on the top of the parking garage across from Pono.    Accuprick was RA and appointed Just Suzie as Beer Fairy.  Down downs were handed out for Steamy Baahorrhea for not having a beer in circle, 6 of 9 for not singing a song right and auto hashing, Sharticle Physics and Dung Fu Grip for going skinny dipping at beer check.  Luckily we were not subjected to the shrinkage!  Today is Monday was welcomed as a visitor.  Twisted Fister and Waxi Pad drank for being backsliders.  Waxi avoided trail altogether.  Several of us took a bathroom stop at Fap Jack’s restaurant Munch on the way to religion.  Apparently we forgot about Steamy Baanhrrhea, because he came out of the bathroom and he found himself locked in the restaurant without having anyone’s cell phone number.  Luckily he didn’t set off any alarms when he left and got Fap Jack to go lock up the place again.  TIMMY!!!’s drank for forgetting words to a song.  what’s new with that?  He’s old for Christ sake!  And last but not least, the Hares………………………..

This week’s hash # 788 will be our Green Dress Hash!  We will be heading to Malone’s in Scotts Valley.  You lucky wankers will be at the mercy of Yours Truly and Occasional Rapist.  We’re celebrating St Patrick’s Day a little early, but who cares.  There will be a shitty trail and plenty of Irish libations.

On On,

Shallow Hole