Occasional Rapist and Ho to Housewife’s Beerthday Hash!

This week, the birthday Harriettes ruled.  How lucky were they  to have the same birthday and on a Thursday!  There was a Hawaiian theme.  The pack met at the New Bohemia Brewing Company on 41^st Ave.  What a cool new place!  They have great beer and I’m sure we’ll be back.  Hashers dressed in Hawaiian garb convened upstairs.   Waxi Pad and his friend Andrew were already 3 beers in when I arrived.  His friend thought we were a strange cult, so they opted for the Crow’s Nest beach party instead of trail.   Fingernips was downstairs most of the time because she was flirting with men at the bar.  Aside from hashers, there was a large party sitting at a table and 3 dreadlock stoned hippie guys sitting on a couch.  Apparently one of them was behind me when I went to go to the restroom.  He obviously wasn’t paying attention and tried to follow me into the bathroom.  I shut the door in his face by mistake.  I might have given him a bloody nose because he was holding his hands over his nose.   Luckily the pack was about to leave.

The pack circled up out back and headed out.  My GPS logged trail at 3 miles and meandered through the jewel box, down to the Capitola Wharf and followed the ocean up Opal Cliff Drive to East Cliff Drive.  There were 2 Blue Hawaiian liquor checks.  Yum!  There was a hare snare on East Cliff.  The FRB’s caught up with the hares.  It was rumored that if the hares write “beer near” then it’s not a hare snare.  However, the pack quickly shot down that theory at religion.  There are no rules in the hash.  Beer check was at the beach down the stairs at East Cliff and 34^th Avenue.

Religion was at Wicked Retahted’s house.  There was a bonfire waiting for the pack to arrive.  Dirty Dolmas was in the house heating up pizza, when she came out asking for a fire extinguisher.  Not sure what happened, but the house didn’t catch fire and the pack was served homemade pizza!  Dung Fu Grip was RA, and Fingernips was Beer Fairy.  First down down was awarded for Dung Fu’s hare snare.  There was almost a second hare snare.  Puff was taking a photo of the ocean up the stairs near the second liquor check.  The hares had to hide from him so he wouldn’t see them.  Occasional Rapist hid behind a garbage can and Ho to Housewife hid behind a car (with people in it).  Luckily Puff is old and probably going deaf and blind, so he did not spot the hares.   Hashers punished for missing the liquor checks (and trail in general) were Flip Flops on the Rocks, Just Walter and Just Larry.  They said they went back to Wicked’s house to start the bonfire.  Dog Breath called out Just Stephanie for wearing a r*cist shirt.  Dog Breath drank because it was only a Fleet Feet shirt, not a race shirt.  Fucked Over Fest drank for bragging about being FRB.  He drank a large amount of the first liquor check waiting for the pack to arrive.  The pack sang happy birthday to Ho to Housewife, Occasional rapist, Cumcerto and Just Walter.  Fuck you!  Pink Cherry Licker celebrated her 125^th and Occasional Rapist celebrated her 200^th Surf City Hash!  Get a life!  Snapping Twat arrived late and got called out for auto hashing to beer check.  Dog Breath called out the hares for littering with leftover chalk on trail.  We had a visitor.  Symphomaniac was visiting from Berlin and in town for a wedding.  Waxi Pad showed up just in time for a down down.  I drank too for being distracted by conversation and singing him a repeat song.  Waxi spent all night trying to convince his friend Andrew that we were not a weird cult.  When they showed up at religion and he saw the bonfire and the singing, he was a little freaked out.  Let’s face it.  Hashing is not for everyone.  I don’t think he’ll be back.  And last but not least, the Hares………………..

The Hares ended the celebration with cupcakes and champagne.  Right on!

On On,

Shallow Hole