The Anal Fourth of July Weenie Roast!

And what’s more patriotic than drinking at the VFW?  Princess Di (arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp went all out and rented the picnic area in back of the VFW in Santa Cruz for this week’s hash.  They don’t allow outside alcohol, so we had to go inside and buy pitchers, but they were only $8.75.  The poor old guy bartending was getting quite a workout pouring beer.  There were only 2 other patrons in the bar besides hashers.  Not exactly the most happening place in town.   The last time I drank at a VFW was in the 80’s.  I was an underage college student.  We went to our friend’s house for the weekend and her Dad let us go drinking with him at the VFW.  Beers were only 35 cents!   Even broke college students could get pretty shitfaced on that price!  Accuprick was busy practicing his kinesiology taping technique.  We had some visitors from CAN’D hash this week.  Dildo Shaggins, Ahhhto Bahng Stander.   Shady Curtains is more of a backslider than a visitor.   He was hashing with us pretty regularly, but we haven’t seen him for a while.   He said he was too busy studying Russian to hash.

My GPS measured trail at 2.13 miles.  It was a little loop that went down Rodriguez, to 7^th Avenue, around to Capitola Road, back across Rodriguez, to Paul Minnie Avenue to beer check in a parking lot on Bostwick lane.  Nothing too exciting.  Dildo Shaggins not only looked like a hobbit, but he ran barefoot the entire trail.  We found out that Dung Fu Grip knew Dildo Shaggins from Lansing, Michigan and was the hasher who named Dung Fu.  Small hash world.   Accuprick said he saw some druggies.  I guess you see more scenery when you walk.    I tried like hell to get dirt on Just Stephanie for her naming.  It was like pulling teeth!  We knew she works at a bait shop.  The only thing I got was that she was shacking up with Rat Pussy, they have a bunch of pets and pineapple makes her throw up,

Religion was back at the VFW.  Accuprick was RA and Six of Nine was Beer Fairy.  Shady Curtains, Accuprick and Twat Did You Say? drank for being backsliders.   Rat Pussy was punished for dropping a beer bottle on the ground at beer check.  Alcohol abuse!  Dildo Shaggins and Ahhhto Bahng Stander were called up for a welcome to the hash down down.  Dung Fu Grip also drank because Dildo Shaggins was his “hash daddy” responsible for his name.  Occasional Rapist, Twat Did You Say? and TIMMY!!! drank for all wearing matching beer socks.  Dung Fu grip and Just Foot Pussy had matching haircuts.  Shady Curtains got blamed for some mystery W written in chalk.  Bacon Queef and Dung Fu Grip drank for using peoples mortal names at the hash.  There were 2 Analversaries.  Stub Rub celebrated his 25^th and Princess Di (arrhea) celebrated her 175^th SCH3 hash!  Get a life!   Shady Curtains was accused of chivalry on trail.  Apparently while out on trail, he came across a nurse pushing a crazy guy in a wheelchair.  The guy in the wheelchair started freaking out and Shady Curtains had to subdue him.  Sorry I missed that!  Snapping Twat drank for autohashing (again).  This is becoming a pattern with her.  She was drinking margaritas at some other bar.   And the Hares……  Thmp-Thmp got a patch for haring 25 trails.    We took a break from Religion to eat a bunch of weenies, coleslaw, and more beer.   After everyone was sufficiently stuffed, Religion resumed for the very important job of naming Just Stephanie.  After much deliberating, she will forever be known as Deadliest Snatch!  Welcome to the hash!

On On,

Shallow Hole