Trail 806 was SCH3’s annual Beat Your Meat charity event, with all proceeds going to Second Harvest Food Bank. Our cheap asses managed to pull together $1,000! Can you believe that? Knowing you guys, I hardly can.
The evening started at the home of Little Anal Annie and Butt Balls in Aptos. Prior to trail we were all warned about one the of dog’s counter surfing and food stealing tactics, so we made sure all out food was out of Dog Breath’s reach before we headed on out. We were gifted with three lovely home brews by visiting Morning Missile, a stout an IPA and an applewiess.
As we set off on trail we immediately entered Nisene Marks and started going downhill (this means you can only go one way from there). So down we descended and rivers we crossed then I hear something up the hill to my left, it’s Dung Fu flying up the side of the mountain. Oh boy, here we go. As we go up I start thinking that this isn’t too bad, until we had to more or less scale the side of the cliff as we are also climbing over tree trunks on a trail that I can’t even call single track… I’m pretty sure it was a deer trail. This was far from the magical hikes and runs I’m used to in Nisene. Trail eventually brought us up onto the fire road where there is car access then back down again before looping up over to Windjammer where we picked up the members of the pack who did the fantastic Windjammer trail. A few of us had a beer prior to hitting up beer check and cheers’d each other celebrating our survival through this gnarly trail.
As the pack headed to beer check a few hashers stopped at Safeway to pick up some ice for Dog Breath, who may have gotten a little tipsy at the 4th of July celebration and did his own fireworks show from his mouth to celebrate.
Once we got to religion, Dog Breath punished us for punishing him by showing us all how quickly his privates could contract into his body by dropped trow as he sat on the bag of ice. We also tried to punish dBase for his (shitty) trail but after Dog Breath’s bare ass sat upon the ice he refused to sit. Broke Bench wasn’t having it and lifted him up and dropped him on the ice, ripping his pants in the process. Here we learned how much dBASED loves the hash since even the back of his boxers say “On On”. Not sure how Snapping Twat wiggled her way out of being put on ice, but she did.
During religion we thanked the homeowners, and especially Butt Balls as he came home from a grueling overseas con-call to a house-full of drunks, called out those who did the Windjammer trail, punished the backsliders and celebrated dBASED’s 650th analversary. Once all the formalities were over we moved onto the eating!
Butt Balls grilled up all the meats and hashers loaded this plates with side dishes while enjoying Morning Missle’s brews. I managed to find the other lonely vegan (who brought the amazing Chao cheeze & veggie burgers so good I saw meat eaters taking second tastings) along with the vegan sausages Dung Fu brought I was in vegan heaven. There was plenty of all types of food to go around that pleased everyone’s tummy.
That about sums it up half-minds. May the hash go in peace! See ya’all for Puff’s 65th Beerthday tonight. If you can’t make it, don’t worry… he won’t know, his mind isn’t too good these days 🙂