Initially I was excited about Trail 814 since I really only had to travel a mile down the road to get there, then I showed up and did trail. Incredibly wet & shitty!

The pack met up at The Hop Head, the only place in Scotts Valley you can get decent beer, Hares Twisted Fister, The Human Pube and Monthly Friend told us lies, like more lies than they normally tell then took off like their parole officer just walked in.

The pack drank more beer then decided it might be a good idea to do trail, boy were we wrong! We should have just stayed at the DRY bar. Upon leaving the Hop Head trail took us across Scotts Valley Drive and through the Granite Creek Business Park, exiting us onto San Augustine Way then dropping us back down to Scotts Valley Drive via Grace Way and Willis Rd. Scotts Valley Drive is about the most BORING and busiest street in Scotts Valley, sounds like a great place to take people…. for what seemed like 5 miles before giving us a liquor check in the back parking lot of Bailey’s Properties where we were hosted Irish Car Bombs.

Trail leaving liquor check went straight into Carbonera Creek for eagles and across the bridge and parallel to the creek for turkeys. Dung Fu and myself were the only two brave enough to do the eagle trail so I can only share my experience there. We shared berries that were likely pissed on by some random and were practically swimming at some points. Dung Fu had to rescue me from the tendrils of a blackberry plant that grossly interfered with trail. We apparently missed the exit and had to jump the fence into an RV park. We ended up back on SV Drive and were able to pick up trail again. Our swim took so long all turkeys had finsihed and a search and rescue hash team was sent out for us. Ya, hashers saving us… hmmmm…. I think they might be better at the “point and laugh” gig.

We held religion in the parking lot of dBASED’s work again. Accuprink decided to actually show up and was our RA, Cum Fart Zone was out beer fairy. As religion was started someone spotted Waxi Pad slipping in for free beer, he wasn’t there at start of trail. He even brought beer mop along for a visit.

We celebrated Puff the Magic Drag Queen’s 800th time of having the runs, and Shallow Hole trying to catch up with 200 times. We had a virgin someone fooled into coming to the hash, Virgin Julie, who told us a joke. Heard it! We also had a hare snare! Fap Jack and Banana Basher snared The Human Pube on SV Drive. Nice! After a few more down-downs we made our way over to The Hop Head for on-after.