As a pre-Halloween treat, Princess Di(arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp brought the hash to the Jury Room to visit their demon spawn Psycho Baby. I know you guys thought that Princess and Thmp-Thmp didn’t have any kids.  Well you are wrong.  It was a big secret until 3 years ago at Wharf to Barf when they told the evil tail of Psych Baby.  One night, Princess had a nightmare about being held captive by the devil.  A week or so later, she woke up in the middle of the night with a really bad stomach ache.  She thought she might have gotten food poisoning from some bad Mexican food.   She went into the bathroom, and instead of a dump, Psycho Baby came out.  She screamed in horror!  What the fuck was it?  It kind of looked like a baby but it was a nasty green color.  She wanted to flush, but Thmp-Thmp was intrigued.  They tried to take care of it for a while, but it was a mean little bastard with sharp teeth.  It wouldn’t eat regular human food.  It seemed to like beer though.  They tried to lock it up, but it would get out in the house in the middle of the night and hunt for blood.  Cats went missing and a golfer died there under “mysterious circumstances”.  When it started killing all the squirrels in the neighborhood, Thmp-Thmp got pissed off and decided that’s it, they had to get rid of it.  So one night, they took him to a seedy part of town and dropped him off at the Jury Room.  He’s been there ever since.  He preys on drunken degenerates that frequent the establishment.  So every once in a while we go visit him.  We recently found out that there are more Psycho Babies out there in the world.  We met a couple of hashers from Omaha Nebraska who brought their little demon to IAH Portland this year.

It was a dead trail this week, which means the hares pre-laid the trail. It was a 3 mile A to B trail basically a straight shot on Ocean Street Extension, past the cemetery, all the way out to beer check in the woods near Paradise Park Masonic Club.  The Masons are supposed to be a secret society.  If that’s not creepy enough, the woods around that area are supposed to be haunted by the white lady ghost.  It was a dark trail, but aside from some barking dogs, we didn’t encounter any ghosts.  The Hares made a circle on the ground with lights to mark the area and brought snacks.

We had religion in the same area. Accuprick was RA.  Hugh Heifer was Beer Fairy.  dBASED was praised for actually staying on trail.  Rat Pussy and Deadliest Snatch celebrated their 25^th Surf City Hash.  Get a life!  Ho to Housewife drank for having a cock problem.  She was trying to find a home for a rooster at the animal shelter.  Twat Did You Say? drank too.  Apparently her cat is an asshole.  Puff drank for being old and demented and forgetting songs.  There were a bunch of backsliders.  Twat Did You Say?, Accuprick, TIMMY!, Shallow Hole, Fucked Over Fest, Shameless Butt Plug, and Hugh Heifer.  Pedofiddler and Fap Jack were punished for taking the liquor check before the DFL’s got there.  Wicked Retahted drank for actually doing the entire trail!  And last but not least, the Hares……………….

On On,

Shallow Hole