Rat Pussy, Just Foot Pussy and Pussy Wood summoned the pack to Beer 30 for the First Anal Pussy Hash. A funny thing happened.  A bunch of dogs showed up!  In fact, we had a record 7 dogs this week!  Poon Doggie, Butters, Toilet Baby, Porter, Ziggy (Fucked Over Fest’s dog), Maui (Ho’s Parent’s dog), and Vaginal Repair Kit’s dog.  There was definitely “pussy” in the air, because Poon Doggie was interested in something other than trail.

The Eagle trail was 5+ miles, depending on who you ask. Trail headed left down Main Street, right on Porter, left on West Walnut, right on Robertson to a “fish hook” mark that required 3 FRB’s to turn around and give a “treat” to the DFL’s.  .  I happened to be the third FRB.  Poon Doggie was not happy about this and refused to move.  In dog language, he said “fuck you!  I’m not sharing my booze with the DFL’s”.  After some negotiating, I eventually  got him to turn around.  I immediately regretted my decision after tasting the shitty alcohol provided by the Hares.  Poon Doggie then took off like a bat out of hell and tried to catch up with the rest of the pack on Soquel Drive.  My quads are still screaming.  We took a left on Porter, and right across the little pedestrian bridge.  Puff thought about jumping off the bridge, but was convinced to proceed on to liquor check (some kind of zombie juice).  Trail then lead us back towards the bar, but up a little shiggy trail into the neighborhood of Wilder Drive.  We turned right on Capitola Ave and went through the trailer park.  This was the same place where they called the cops on Bacon Queef, probably around a year ago.  After a jaunt through some Capitola neighborhoods, we found ourselves at a Pussy check/Tuck check?  This was a new one.  Yada, Yada, Yada, we did a loop around Capitola Village.  I saw the infamous handicapped cop in a wheelchair patrolling around checking the parking meters.   We went up the hill on Cliff Drive for a tour around the Jewel Box and Fucked Over Fest’s old hood from his bachelor days.  There were a record number of checks.  Every third mark was a God damn check.  The dogs were getting thirsty.  It took forever to get to beer check in Perry Park.

Religion was in office complex off of Bay. Pink Cherry Licker was RA (by default).   Courtesy Flush bought a big box of ice cream sandwiches at Nob Hill (Not a burrito!  Shocking, right?).  The GM’s somehow lost the down down cups.  Hashers who brought dogs were called up for the first down down.  Moose Turd Pie drank for visiting with his Mom on trail.  Some kid called the Hares pussies for not using spray paint to mark trail.  Hangs Loose has been hashing for longer than some of the newbies have been alive, but was called out for yelling “on 3” instead of “on on”.  I was called out because I told Genital Tongs to pull down her skirt.  Her kilt rode up and her undies were showing.  There were a few Analversaries:  Pink Cherry Licker 169, Yours Truly for 225, and Broke Bench Mountain for 250 SCH3 Hashes!  Get a life!  Ho to Housewife drank for flashing her tits over the freeway overpass bridge, We had a Virgin- Virgin Marie.  Bareback Unicrack ade her cum.  She told a lame joke.  A bunch of hashers drank for not attending Red Dress last week.  And last but not least, the Hares…………………….

On On,

Shallow Hole