This week’s trail hit some pretty sour notes. The Hare was Symphomaniac ,
a Harriette who is originally from here but lives in Germany and visits us occasionally. The pack met in the Kmart parking lot in Scotts Valley. The Hare gave a chalk talk to explain her unfamiliar trail markings before she left (that was a mess). Pink Cherry Licker did a second chalk talk before the pack left and proved that teaching a bunch of half minds is worse than teaching elementary school children. Half minds are hopeless.
The trail started out on Mt Hermon Road. The Turkey-Eagle split was only a block down on Kings Village Road. The Eagles continued down Mt Hermon Road and came upon a song check at the Christmas tree. We solved a check on the corner of Mt Hermon and headed up Scotts Valley Drive. Everything went to shit at the next check on the corner of Bean Creek Road. Hashers scattered in all directions.
Some crossed the street and found 3 marks (2 arrows and 1 flour) with an arrow pointing into the woods. We’ve hashed through this trail several times in the past. We thought we were on. A bunch of hashers scoured the woods, but couldn’t find any more marks, so we turned back and searched in all other directions. No one could find anything, so we actually went around to where the trail came out on Glen Canyon Road, thinking that we could pick up trail again. That didn’t work either. The consensus was to say “fuck it” and go back to the Turkey-Eagle split and follow the Turkey trail. We found the rest of the pack at a liquor check in Sky Park where booze bottles were hidden in the playground.
Turkeys arrived long before eagles to this liquor check and were lucky enough to have “The Arranged Marriage Chronicles” read out loud by the author himself, Paki Sak (if you don’t follow him on fb, do it, season 2 is hopefully coming soon). Trail continued on the linear path around Skypark. Another turkey eagle split from hell. Eagles came to a funky mark that was supposed to be a YBF. Since flour was visible a few feet ahead, we all blew past it and continued down the path.
There was a check further down the path. Hashers went left onto Navigator Drive and called on on. Then we came to a YBF. Since the check was back on the linear path, I figured we could dBASED it and go to the end of the path instead of turning around. But before we got there, we found “on Home” marks going back into the Kmart parking lot. Turkeys basically went backwards on the original trail eagles missed I think? It was all a cluster fuck. No one was there at the Kmart lot, so we went out searching for trail again. Since no one could find trail, Pinky used technology to find out where beer check was and told the Hare to just meet us at Kmart.
Since the trail was in my hood on my usual running route, I ran the trail a second time in the daylight and saw what we did wrong. Sorry Symphomaniac, no redemption for you. Trail was fucked.
At the check on the corner of Scotts Valley Drive and Bean Creek Road, trail didn’t go into the woods. Hashers didn’t check far enough down Bean Creek Road. There were marks past the Middle School. Then we were supposed to go left down Bluebonnet to Skypark. At the YBF on Navigator Drive, we were actually supposed to turn around and go the opposite way on Navigator Drive. This would not be the logical choice considering that was the same direction we came from. Skypark is a pretty small development that consists of 2 through streets and a few cull de sacs. Beer near was next to the park.
Religion was in back of Kmart next to a stinky dumpster. Pink Cherry Licker was RA. It was pretty short since a cop drove by and saw us. To our amazement, he did not come back. Pussy Wood and Cunt Jungle got a down down for finding the mini bottles of fireball at liquor check, Paki Sak got his down down for his reading of the arranged marriage chronicles, there were a bunch of visitors from over the hill and 2 Analversaries. Cum Pumper for 25th and dBASED for 725th hash.
On on,
Shallow Hole (Notes from Turkey Trail by Pussy Wood)