This was the annual holiday time “Picture Hash” that our slightly obsessed hare, DBased, dreams about all year long. Instead of visions of sugarplums dancing in his head, he has visions of lost and befuddled hashers flipping him off. Not much difference between dream time and reality time.
Yes, DBased planned this thing a year in advance…..mainly because he may have fucked it up last year and he had to redeem himself. He was almost giddy to gather the festive fools to follow his endless circle jerks and backtracks. He grinned ear to ear at each stop, coaxing us on with his impromptu side kick….Vaginal Repair Kit…. who was fresh out of the operating room for his back surgery…but somehow in his anesthesia fog he forget to change out of his hospital gown. It was a bit breezy for him as the night air was fresh and crisp and some of us got more than we bargained for as he gleefully showed off his scar!
We marched up and down Park Av and Soquel Av and finally trudged up to a sweet little park for Beer Check. The kids had a chance to play on the train and have their picture taken. Then we trudged back to Occasional and Dbased home for some tasty snacks and more libations.
Religion was held on the back patio around the fire pit.
We started off with Cum You will Not celebrating 50 hashes and thus she became the evenings beer fairy…although she looked more like a deer in the headlights. Guess this really was her first rodeo.
She shouldn’t quit her day job to become a bartender. Our beloved RA, Accuprick, kept barking orders at her and had her head spinning faster than that chick in the Exorcist. At least she didn’t spew!!
Just Michael came back for more abuse and Virgin Lori sang us a crappy song but it was “cripple girl” aka Pinky who stole the show. She was found face down on the pavement, trying desperately to activate her Life Alert button. Instead she had to rely on the HashShit to get her to her feet. Thankfully it had just been passed along from father Timmy!!! to daughter. It came in handy as a crutch and a necessary walking stick.
New Kids On My Cock had been missing in action and finally got bailed out from the rehab center. As a reminder “rehab is for quitters”. Achy Breaky also took a much needed break from her grueling race schedule and made a cameo. She has been missed.
As part of the evening’s festivities we had a costume contest, sponsored by the lovely and alluring Princess Di.
The prize for most flammable went to Ms Tinsel Tits who may also be known as Responsive Asshole, if I got the name correct. Apparently she too has been missing in action….for about a dozen years or so.
Most creative holiday sweater went to Cums You Will Not.
Most rash inducing went to Steamy B and Baker’s Dozen’t was also a big winner with the official UGLIEST SWEATER….wear that sash with pride, sugar lips.
Our hares, DBased and Occasional Rapist were applauded for their annual holiday gathering and general good cheer ambassadors.
Stub Rub and Summer’s yeast were headed to the land down under. A great way to lose a whole 24 hours without the hangover and blackouts. I am sure that they will return with some silly accents and that annoying “G’Day”crap.
The rest of us revealed in the impending stress of holidays and wished each other well for the New Year.
Get your resolutions ready.
No hashing = No Fun.
Know hashing = Know FUN!!
On On On
CumFartZone