We relived the horror of the 1980’s exercise craze thanks to our exuberant hares, CumYouWill Not, Shallow Hole and a newbie hare named……..Just Liberty.

Although the outfits were fantastic the trail was less than stellar. In fact the trail was so bad that most of the pack were left wandering in the drizzle.

 

CumFartZone arrived late to witness this madness….the pack looked like lost bees trying desperately to find the QUEEN BEE. They were buzzing around in all directions, desperately wailing. “RU??” It seemed that the trail simply went cold….which it did….and will be explained later on in this diatribe.

CumFartZone decided she would have no part in this frantic search and merely called her buddy with a similar name, CYWN, Cum for short, and was expertly directed right smack into the pack of hares.  She happily joined the leaders and felt safe and secure knowing she was on the right track.  After hearing that the hares practically got attacked from the gargantuan sentry of the trailer park, CFZ called some of her other buddies to warn them and to direct them back to the proper trail. In addition to being an 80’s workout icon she is also a helpful girl scout and responsible Red Cross disaster responder! If you ever need an extra flashlight, some duct tape or a breath mint, she’s your go to gal.

As the pack showed up at Beer Check, the story of the trailer park ogre was retold. Each time it sounded more and more sinister and those hares were lucky to escape with their lives and with their flour intact. The mean trailer park monster would not let them finish laying a trail and demanded their hasty retreat.

With no way to alert the hapless hounds, the hares went on their merry way and left the pack to wander and wonder….WHY Oh WHY do we subject ourselves to this misery each and every week?  Well….basically it comes down to beer and loneliness. Without these festive Thursday evenings what would we do….stay home and play tiddlywinks?

 

Back to the pack……..and the tales.

Apparently CuntJungle couldn’t be bothered with trail and decided to do some geocaching. Alrighty then…..maybe we should start a tiddlywinks club.

Most of the pack missed the jump rope check…however the ever obedient Thump Thump and Bakers Dozen’t did what they were told.

 

Dog Breath…who claims to be proficient at hashing…..and may even hare Monterey Can’d next hash ( now rescheduled for March 24)….got to the RR tracks and thought he saw a pack arrow. NOPE…..another hasher fooled by those pesky PG&E arrows. Vaginal had the same issue at hash #955. Maybe somethings in the water….or they need new glasses! Or less alcohol!

At religion, held at the beach, on and near logs…..we gave the HashShit back to Curtesy Flush as he confessed he has become quite attached to it.

Just Andrea seemed enthralled by all of the hash antics, including hiding flour in the dark.

 

 

Backsliders included CuntJungle….who is now back with our kennel for the next 2 months after trying to defect to the east coast but was caught in thunder snow and decided she was safer back in earthquake country. Just Liberty was a welcome addition after a long hiatus and even tried her hand at haring….thankfully with 2 experienced hares….well….maybe one experienced hare( Shallow Hole) and 1 overly exuberant hare( CumYouWillNot). We also had Just Sean and Steamy B who has been dearly missed.

We had a momentous naming and now have SKID RACER joining the ranks. This poor chap actually shared that he had to use his race bib in lieu of toilet paper. That’s what happens when you are a Raci*t. That’s what all those energy drinks, electrolytes and GU can do to your intestines….they make you go while on the go!Often without warning. Boo Hoo Poo Poo. Hopefully Skid Racer will adjust his diet on hash night so that we do not ever have to endure his defecating antics in person.

 

 

Thanks again to our hares for a fun costume themed hash. Loved the music and the outfits.

Until next time,

On On On,

CumFartZone