Salutations,

       Many of us (foolishly) assumed a visit to Seascape Golf Course Clubhouse would be a pleasant experience. We have not visited here in quite a while and previous times here have been enjoyable. What I failed to take into consideration is our hare-trio(in itself a red flag) consisted of Cum You Will Not(and I assure you no one did), dBASED(nothing need be said about THIS joker!) and his (second) wife Occasional Rapist. So, in all actuality, we were doomed to failure even before on-out.

       Let’s ignore the fact we already know this will be an unpleasant evening and move along posthaste.

The first indication things were destined to go awry was the card authorization reader at the bar was non-functioning. Now while this proved monetarily beneficial to some hashers….Deer Bitch….those few of us carrying coin of the realm were milked of every penny possible to compensate for kennel mates that CLAIMED they carried no coin. The party soon migrated to the deck where a number of golfers were ensconced on what is colloquially referred to as ‘the nineteenth hole’. They appeared somewhat wary of us and we were mostly dismissive of them

 

       With both GM’s in absentia, Accuprick called for Circleup for Introductions and the pack then on-outed to Clubhouse Drive where an on-right was indicated. Clubhouse was utilized until a solved check turned the troops on-left onto Pinehurst Drive. Marker soon made us on-left onto Rio Del Mar Elementary School grounds, a well-known no-no, which of course means nothing to our e-vile hares. Having transgressed here before, we were certain we would cross the playground and again challenge the hill-from-hell that provides the backdrop to all the surrounding area. And we did. And there was no rejoicing.

Eventually we crested the crest and beheld the land laid low below us all the way to Santa Cruz.

We puttered along the ridgeline for a while before descending on-down to Dolphin Drive and executing an on-right. Pebble Beach Drive presented the threatened Turkey/Eagle split. Cold Smegma Kamikaze and visitor Deer Bitch either missed said split or are foolish enough to try it. Let’s fly with the Eagles and see what horrors befall them.

Trail became a dark and dreary grouping of on-lefts and on-rights. The Eagles came back to Clubhouse Drive and (incorrectly) thought they were close to Beer Check. This soon proved to be a false belief. An on-left onto Clubhouse was abruptly followed by an on-right onto the short link of Baltusrol Way and an immediate on-right on Baltusrol Drive. 

Baltusrol Drive wiggles it’s way to St. Andrews Drive where an on-right was indicated which soon brought the pod back to Clubhouse Drive. Here an on-left was made. If you walked on the roadside, you followed Eagle trail. If you crossed Clubhouse to the safety of the sidewalk, within a few blocks you would be hashing the on-out trail in reverse. This is a ploy that can be carried-off in the darkness and leave it to dBASED to employ all manner of chicanery available.  

Just prior to reaching Point A, the BN sign was observed and the pack reassembled for Beer Check.

After libations were dispensed with, the mob migrated back to the start and Religion was convened. Religious Adviser Accuprick awarded the following down-downs: Deer Bitch as a visitor, one to himself as a short-cutting bastard, Six of Nine for only being able to show snout for Religion, Dicky Wacker for completing a trail WITHOUT falling. Oh, yeah, the accursed hare-trio were roundly cursed as well.

The RA called an end to Hash 1156 and dismissed the pack. Many members of this merry madness reconvened at Parish Publick House in Aptos to party well into the night.

That did it for this Hash and that does it for this Trash as well.

The preceding was a factual accounting of actual events though possibly not as they actually occurred. One should never allow the facts to stand in the way of a good story.

By Special Appointment of His Royal Majesty ‘G’, this Hash Trash has been compiled and printed by permission of no one other than the author at Santa Cruz, Ca., or elsewhere if need be, on this, the fifth day of October in the year of our Hash two thousand twenty-one.

On-out,

Puff

the

Magic Drag Queen

Acting Scribe Surf City H3