Residing in the shadow,

Of the Redwood tree that graces my balcony eclipsing my perch as I contemplate an event in my personal life, the recent demise of an important personal relationship. A tragic event by anyone’s standards. What makes us toss away our contentment and beg for something more? We are all moving toward something though. Even if you’re a screw-up hasher, you’re participating. You survive one calamity, one catastrophe, and promptly move on to the next disaster in your life. Be that as it may, also providing me with significant trauma in my life is this past Thursday’s trail. Allow me to elucidate.

Our hare, Broke Bench Mountain, had originally hailed this week’s trail as a monumental milestone in Surf City haring history. An A-to-B, a scenic tour of the Santa Cruz coastline and a farewell to his and Cumz Out My Nose’s Eaton Street abode. They’ve been shown the door, figuratively and literally. Then the prediction of an Atmospheric River grabbed the local headlines. This apparently pleased our hare to no end, he would now not have to do anything involved with trail laying. He could now sing the praises of what would have (supposedly) been a landmark Surf City trail. He cried alligator tears upon hearing the weather prognostication. However…

As the time neared for trail, there was not a hint of moisture in the air. The only water present was on Broke Bench’s forehead when he realized he would have to lay an actual trail. Excuses were made pertaining to the original trail as rain having been predicted, he did not work out all the details so trail was shifted to the Blue Lounge and would be shortened to minimize the potential encounter with a veritable deluge. Here’s the story of what transpired then.

The Blue lounge is only slightly different from any of it’s previous incarnations, e.g., The Knight Owl, The 529 or Seabright Lounge. Concrete floor and concrete walls do a prison cell make. The covey congealed for safety’s sake and awaited zero hour. Drinks are quite inexpensive here, beers five bucks. I guess every dark cloud DOES have a silver lining. An actual band was setting up shop and Gizmo the dog inhabited her usual bar stool. Broke Bench tossed back hard stuff like Prohibition was to take effect at midnight. Finally he was convinced to get out in hopes of avoiding the incoming wave of water. Instructions of Trail were so brief I spoke with no one that remembered them. Hare away.

The next fifteen minutes passed amicably enough. dBASED took Virgin Megan outside for the proverbial Chalk Talk. Everyone settled bar tabs and watched the clock. When the allotted lead time had expired, we exited the building and performed Circleup for introductions which resulted in hearing from: TIMMY!!, Steamy Baanorrhea, Flowers For Anal Bum, Cum You Will Not, dBASED, Virgin Megan, Circle Gherkin’ and Puff the Magic Drag Queen. We were joined on trail by Courtesy Flush. No canine contingency this week, they are all way the hell too smart to show snout in this weather. Pack out.

There was initial confusion right from the get-go on this trail. There was a check where circleup had been staged out the rear door of the Blue. The first marks took an excessive amount of time to locate. Eventually they were discovered though down the alley to Logan Street and on-left to Buena Vista where another on-left brought us to East Cliff Drive. We continued along East Cliff to Pilkington Avenue where another on-left was indicated. At Forbes Street, a solved check took the troops on-left to Alhambra Avenue and on-right there to Murray Street. At Mott Avenue, we were circle-jerked on-right to Forbes Street, on-left to Cypress Avenue and on-left there and just before hitting Murray Street again, our favored BN mark was viewed and we entered Brady’s Yacht Club via the rear. It was here we found our hare sitting at the bar and again tossing back heavy hit drinks.

Time passed quickly here. We were also joined by a late running Courtesy Flush. Upon completion of our task here, the herd migrated to the walkway outside Seabright Social in an effort to stay out of the lightly falling rain. Here’s a synopsis of down-downs issued by RA dBASED: Puff for being ‘alone’ tonight, there were no canines to be given treats; Broke Bench Mountain for wearing a race shirt, Cum You Will Not for faking an illness on trail, dBASED for NOT taking a shortcut, Flours For Anal Bum for being ill last week thus avoiding taking over Beermeister duty, Circle Gherkin’ for not knowing so much as one hash song, Steamy Baanorrhea for thinking the false marking from Chalk Talk was real and lastly Virgin Megan who exposed her cute little derriere. On-on-on was at Engfer’s Pizza and turned into a concert for the employees as Bohemian Rhapsody was crooned for them. Possibly to their dismay.

The preceding was a factual accounting of actual events though possibly not as they actually occurred. One should never allow the facts to stand in they way of a good story. do not allow the profound to be the enemy of the interesting.

A Scribe’s sole purpose is to provide entertainment to their kennel mates. Whether or not they are successful in this endeavor remains a subject open to debate.

I chose not to complicate this Hash Trash with facts thereby allowing me to extract almost any end i desired. It as with this motive in mind I recounted the events that comprised Hash Twelve-35.

By Special Appointment of His Royal Majesty ‘G’ this Hash Trash has been compiled and printed by permission of no one other than the author at Santa Cruz, Ca., or elsewhere if need be on this, the thirteenth day of March in the year of our Hash two-thousand twenty-three.

Submitted with all respect due,

Puff

the

Magic Drag Queen

Surf City H3