Hash Trash #950

Burrito Aficionado Courtesy Flush and his lovely sidekick Bareback Unicrack reluctantly stepped up to the plate and offered to hare this weeks hash. Apparently Courtesy recently relocated his abode and has been scouting out all the scummy areas adjacent to the county jail, courthouse and levy…A shocking change from the laid back surfer dude vibe of pleasure point. Now he has to sharpen his martial arts skills and his navy seal survival knife.

Trail started at Callahans-whereby Timmy promptly and drunkenly left his credit card at the bar and the bartender had to frantically track him down just as we were circling up. Luckily Pinky was paying attention and was able to reunite the credit card with its rightful owner….her drunk Dad! ( Puff made me write this)

For once in the history of SurfCityH3 we were promised a short 2 mile trail for turkeys….and a slightly longer trail for Eagles….and miraculously the mileage matched. Although the trail was relatively short it was not without its trials and tribulations. And speaking of trials, CumFartZone decided it would be nice to stop and chat with the Santa Cruz County Courthouse security guards and tell them all about our running group. She had been following Puff, who took off in the direction of the Courthouse garage in an attempt to shortcut. The imposing guards informed us that the garage was off limits. While CFZ was regaling the guards with too much information the rest of the pack stealthily managed to skirt around the perceived danger zone.

On our way once again we ran into trouble…..Just Foot Pussy encountered a posse of teenagers, posing as security guards for their PRIVATE apartment complex. They and the on site manager were none to happy to have us hooligans running around on private property. This is becoming the theme of the night.

And we thought Santa Cruz was so friendly……….NOT!

The numerous package checks were awfully friendly though and JFP and Fap jack took full advantage of them – showing their romantic side by making sure their partners got an eyeful. Fap showed off his aerobatic pissing skills which totally enthralled JFP who looked on in disbelief at the high arching and long lasting stream. This group is SO easily amused.

Thump, despite numerous warnings about the violent hobos lurking in the bushes, takes off in a completely different direction from the rest of the pack. Trying to be clever by going off on his own he totally misjudged where the trail was headed and ended up on the WRONG levy waving frantically for his safety buddy….the HARE! We call this a DICK MOVE. We also call this Stupid, Idiotic, Moronic and just plain dumb. I think Thump learned his lesson and won’t go near any more “scary hobos” all alone and unarmed.

The Eagles apparently had their own trail fraught with more scary hobos under the bridge and a missing liquor check. Baker’s Doezen’t calmly strode back into the underworld to save the hootch. He proudly displayed it back at Religion and we are going to get him the Good Samaritan patch. He is great at rescuing lost people, cats from tall trees and condoms that end up in dark sweaty tunnels.

Beer Check and Religion were held at Curtesy’s new crash pad. It was hip, modern, functional and smelled like fresh baked cookies. What a nice touch. He is the hostess with the Mostess….along with OCD Bareback Unicrack who carefully organized all the beer cans in the frig.

If you didn’t want beer they also served hot chocolate and some fancy, expensive beer in a huge bottle. We loved the cool lights and all the nice decorating touches, especially the nifty eye glass organizational system.

Pinky was our RA for the night and started us off with “A Prayer”….and a song.

Unicrack scored a patch for 50 hashes, and Just Tia and Curtesy got called up for being racists. They should know better but they wanted to show off instead.

Pinky passed along the HashShit to Curtesy….who can use it on his daily morning runs to fend off the scary hobos!

All in all it was a delightful evening and some of the pack trudged to the Santa Cruz Diner for some real grub.

On On On,
CumFartZone