Greetings Ghouls and Ghosties,

       It’s All Hallows Eve and many things will go bump in the night after darkness covers the land this day.

However, I prefer to leave your sex life out of this Trash and proceed as usual.

The clan convened at the now-named Urbani’s Cellar, formerly Bocci’s Cellar, on Encinal Street as per the dictate of hare-pair(and a nice pair they are, too!) consisting of Hugh Heifer and Cum You Will Not.

The crowd was typically large(nor the way Banana Basher is) for a Hallowe’en Hash and hounds were in every corner and crevice. Pussy Galore and (second) husband Cum Lord make a rare guest appearance from Thailand. My Sister’s Dildo and Womb With A View are (temporarily) back on the Mainland from Hawaii. Driponya has reappeared after her naming. She and Rainbow Butthole sported sexy black stockings and garter belts but it appears they forgot to put their dresses on. Admittedly, I did not hear one male complain about their oversight though. In keeping with our vampyre theme, Dicky Wacker wore a convict’s striped outift. Well, it’s Dicky Wacker after all. dBASED was being devoured by a shark, there’s always been something fishy about that man anyway. Snake Me Anywhere wore a makeshift bunny outfit. After her trail of last week she should have hopped into the bushes and not returned. Moose Turd Pie, AKA Broken Wing, wore a nice camouflage attire, presumably in an attempt to hide from our many vampyres. Leaky Rubber donned, well, I guess it was meant to be a tiger ensemble. More than just his rubber has sprung a leak I fear.

Eventually the hares hopped on-out and fifteen minutes later Circleup for Introductions was executed and the pack progressed at a snail’s pack down Encinal and across Highway 9 into the Tannery Arts Center. A mercifully small circle-jerk took us to the walkway behind the building and under Highway 1 to Gateway Plaza shopping center. Just out from under Highway 1, we were accosted by a ‘local resident’ who was perturbed we were waking her. Mercifully, all she had was a few foul words for us and no physical weapons. We moved on quickly.

We motivated through the parking lot, to River Street and headed downtown. We went on-right through Trader Joe’s parking lot and on-left onto Front Street, shortcut through the outdoor dining area for the Palomar Restaurant, on-right onto Soquel Avenue and then on-right on Pacific Avenue.

  It was on-left off Pacific onto Church Street and on-left on Cedar Street where we managed to completely disrupt the dining experience at Gabriella’s much to the chagrin of patrons and wait staff alike. Soon it was on-left onto Mission Street to initiate the arduous on-up of the Mission Street hill to on-right into Mission Plaza for a scheduled Beer Check.

After our business was concluded there, we transferred our bodies to Holy Cross Church where photos were taken and then, before we were discovered by parishioners, took off for the pedestrian bridge towering over Highway 1 and then on-right on the pedestrian path on-down to the Harvey West Park area. An on-left onto Evergreen Street deposited us at the arch over the entrance to Evergreen Cemetery. We entered. 

A number of intrepid souls such as Just Holly took the trip to the very top of Glory Path which is the main path into Evergreen Cemetery. She was white as a ghost(no pun intended) upon her return. The pack came to a stop partway up and bloody drinks were distributed.

After living through as much fun as we could stand, we traversed the distance back to Evergreen Street where we found a Cadillac hearse awaiting us.

Here we encountered a coffin portraying a cooler.

Once our business was concluded here, Religious Adviser dBASED convened Religion for those sober enough to attend.

A number of justified and unjustified down-downs were issued. TIMMY! was busted for not a hint of a costume. Rainbow Butthole was awarded Best Costume while Cum Lord received the Best Vampyre Slayer Costume Award. Hugh Heifer celebrated her 600th Hash with us. There were a number of backsliders, notably Bee Queefer, Pussy Galore and Cum Lord.

Oh, yeah. The accursed(cursed?) hares, Hugh Heifer and Cum You Will Not. Trail was especially inventive but also took the troops to dangerous places so it was pretty much a wash.

That just about did it in for Hallowe’en Hash 2021 and that puts the lid on this Hash Trash as well. Next week? Red Dress Run from the Red Room.

The preceding was a factual accounting of actual events though possibly not as they actually occurred. One should never allow the facts to stand in the way of a good story.

By Special Appointment of His Royal Majesty ‘G’, this Hash Trash has been compiled and printed by permission of no one other than the author at Santa Cruz, Ca., or elsewhere if need be, on this, All Hallows Eve, the thirty-first day of October, in the year of our Hash two-thousand twenty-one.

Submitted with all respect due,

Puff

the

Magic Drag Queen

Acting Scribe

Surf City H3