Turkey Day plus one,

While today IS one day past Thanksgiving, the ‘plus one’ refers to the hare we were burdened with this week. Steamy Baanorrhea, our long-lived Beermeister, should stick to supplying us with libation and leave the haring to others.

Let’s give a little background on Point A, The Mediterranean. In May of 1978 a ’74 graduate of UCSC was in the Med having a drink, or five. Someone made a disparaging remark about him and one of his friends took umbrage and decided to take it out of the man’s hide. This man was armed but handed the gun to our protagonist and the fight proceeded. The man now holding the .45 caliber pistol fired it once in the air. The bullet hole is probably still there. The man that leveled the insult was coming out on the short end of the stick and left the barroom in a hurry. Someone had called the cops and just as the patrons ran out the front door, a sheriff’s deputy pulled up as they yelled, He’s got a gun! The three men were just pulling away and were pointed out and arrested a short distance away. The trigger man at the center of this melee was Huey Newton, co-founder of the Black Panther Party. And THIS is the place Steamy decided we should venture into.

I should not fail to mention two visitors, Piss Pyle and his lovely wife BMX. They are Ahoha H3 hashers on Ohau. Their next to last visit with us was in Henry Cowell for Hash 1044 when the rangers busted us for being in the park after dark and consuming alcoholic beverages as well. They have mostly avoided us since.

In other news…dBASED, Occasional Rapist and Junk Puncher miss their second consecutive hash. Scratch and Sniff is as uncontrollable as ever. Circle Gherkin’ approves of his new name and said it drives him to commit frequent pleasurable acts upon himself. Accuprick is hosting a party for son No Poles and has learned guests are coming in from other States!

Eventually, Steamy Baanorrhea delivered a true turkey’s version of Instructions of Trail. Turkey Trail was short and Eagle only a mile more, more or less. There would be a Liquor Check AND a Beer Check. This was the only part of his tale that garnered applause. Hare away.

The next fifteen was it’s usual lackadaisical self, a little bit of talking and a little bit of drinkin’. And a whole lot of nothing. Soon enough though, co-GMs Cumz Out My Nose and Broke Bench Mountain requested Circleup for Introductions and heard responses from: Cum You Will not, Flours For Anal Bum, Accuprick, BMX, Piss Pyle, Clearly Not A Hooker, Pink Cherry Licker, Circle Gherkin’, Hugh Heifer, Dung-Fu Grip and Puff the Magic Drag Queen. Today’s canine contingency was Spot’d Dick and Scratch and Sniff. Pack out.

We traipsed Center Avenue across State Park Drive to make an on-left onto Coates Drive. This took the troops to Beachgate Way where the anticipated on-left on-down to Las Olas Drive and on-left there. A whichy-way at the base of the stairs leading back on-up to the parking lot proved continuing forward on the boardwalk past the Cement Ship was correct. At the intersection with Aptos Beach Drive and Beach Drive, the promised Turkey/Eagle split was encountered. It’s too nice a day to not take the Eagle trail. So off we go.

Beach Drive is long and straight but at least it’s scenic. The breakers were breaking hard on the sand, triple sets were overhead as the surfers may have said. As we neared the end of Beach Drive, a pedestrian path turns on-left and on-up to Kenneth Drive and on-right across Cliff Drive to Townsend Drive and on-left there. One block later it was on-left onto Farley Drive and one block later on-right back to Cliff Drive and on-right. A rather pointless circle jerk I must say. Cliff was used until Florence Drive where we were directed on-right and a block later, on-right onto Martin Drive. The next on-left, Kingsbury Drive, was our goal. Then a block later we went on-left onto Townsends Drive, across Rio Del Mar Boulevard and onto Aptos Beach Drive. We would endure a long and steep on-down to transition onto Treasure Island and on-left onto Spreckles Drive followed by an quick on-left onto Moosehead Drive. Well, at least we’re heading in the direction of home.

An on-right onto Winfield Way takes one over Aptos Creek onto Creek Way and there it was on-left until the end of the road. There we entered a field and went on-right and on-up a steep footpath leading on-up to Seacliff Drive. Partway up, arrows pointed on-left and on-up a dangerously steep mountain goat trail precariously perched on a precipice. It was here our hideous hare staged Liquor Check.

The descent proved far more life-threatening than the climb on-up but a count at Beer Check proved every hound survived this idiotic encounter. Once back on the high ground and on-left onto Seacliff Drive, it was a leisurely stroll to on-right onto El Camino Del Mar, on-left onto Santa Clara Avenue and on-right onto Center Avenue and on-in to Beer Check at Accuprick’s abode.

A good time was had by all at the old cliche goes but soon enough it was on-out to begin Religion. This was staged in the usual place on Santa Cruz Avenue behind the Mediterranean. Accuprick assumed the role of Religious Adviser and this is a sampling of down-downs issued: Dung-Fu Grip celebrated his 400th hash with us; our Hawaiian visitors were welcomed; Accuprick punished for hashing a ‘different’ trail; Cumz Out My Nose chided for auto-hashing. that was about it for….oh. That damned hare. Steamy was thanked for the scenery and his extended stint as Beermeister which ended this day. I did not, however, hear any compliments about his trail. After the hare was spanked, Accuprick dismissed the pack and I hereby do the same now for you, faithful reader.

The preceding was a factual accounting of actual events though possibly not as they actually occurred. One should never allow the facts to stand in the way of a good story. Do not allow the profound to be the enemy of the interesting.

A Scribe’s sole purpose is to provide entertainment to their kennel mates. Whether or not they are successful in this endeavor is still a subject open to debate.

I chose not to complicate this Hash Trash with facts thereby allowing me to extract almost any end I desired. It was with this motive in mind I recounted the events that comprised Hash twelve-20.

By Special appointment of His Royal Majesty ‘G’, this Hash Trash has been compiled and printed by permission of no one other than the author at Santa Cruz, Ca., or elsewhere if need be, on this, the thirtieth day of November in the year of our Hash two-thousand twenty-two.

Submitted with all respect due,

Puff

the

Magic Drag Queen

Surf City H3 Scribe