V-Day Mini Skirt/Kilt Hash
Our Hares, Occasional Rapist and Mortal Enema chose Brady’s Yacht Club as the start for this week’s hash. It was Valentine’s Day, and love and liquor were in the air. Hashers were asked to wear mini skirts or kilts. What could be sexier than a bunch of drunks running around in skirts? Several folks took advantage of the couples kilt sale on Sport Kilt website. Princess Diarrhea and Thmp-Thmp looked marvelous in their new matching kilts. Puff the Magic Drag Queen and TIMMY!!! sported their matching kilts. Pink Cherry Licker learned the lesson of never taking fashion advice from her Dad. Deep Stroke wore a sexy school girl skirt, with her Beaver fever hat. I know many of you are asking the same question. Will she ever leave? She is searching junkyards far and wide for parts for her RV. This was the first Hare experience for Mortal Enema. She hasn’t been around for a while. In fact, the last time we saw her was in December, the night she got named. She claimed to work late on Thursday nights, which prohibited her from hashing. Vince Lamblowme showed up- but not wearing a mini skirt, thank God! We had 2 virgins, Virgin Christine and Virgin Laura (girlfriend of Just Zach). I’m sure Virgin Christine gave him hell for dragging her to a hash for Valentine’s Day. Not your typical romantic date. Occasional Rapist and dBASED started the week by giving each other a rash. No, it wasn’t VD. Just a nasty case of poison oak. They blamed it on the dog. Poor Nippless Butt. I wonder if it’s the same thing as when someone farts and blames the dog. Just Sayin…….
Our Hares sent the pack on a drunken wild goose chase through Seabright neighborhood streets and ended up on Seabright Beach. The Hares ran out of flour on the beach. Just when we figured we were fucked, we saw the lights coming from the fire pits on the beach. We headed in that direction and found beer check. The Hares, Wicked Retahted, Cuff my Muff and Dirty Dolmas were all warm and cozy around the fire with beer, a box of wine, candy and had flowers for the ladies.
Religion was held on Watson Street near Pacific Edge. Accuprick was RA. He nominated yours truly, Shallow Hole, as Beer Fairy because I posted something sappy to my hubby on Facebook for Valentine’s Day. Pink Cherry Licker got the first down down. Something about wanting her and Accuprick to go down the slide at Ocean View Park. Next, the two newly named Harriettes, Dirty Dolmas and Pink Cherry Licker were called up to the altar. Accuprick wasn’t present last week and wanted to know how they got their names. There were several tails from the trail. We had a “hole down down”. Deep Stroke told a tale of how she fell into a shallow hole on the beach. Occasional Rapist fell into the same hole, and Mortal Enema tripped and fell when they were laying trail. And I drank because my name is Shallow Hole. Vince Lamblowme and Hugh Heifer drank to congratulate Hugh Heifer for getting laid at a Super Bowl Party. Good for her! Virgins Christine and Laura showed frontal body parts. Welcome to the hash! Thmp-Thmp shared intimate details about his sex life. Apparently claiming that his “pussy” hurts. Princess Diarrhea was blamed (of course). Princess Diarrhea and Hugh Heifer drank again for wearing hats. Pink Cherry Licker was serenaded with a hideous rendition of the hash birthday song. And last but not least, the Hares…………
On On,
Shallow Hole