Newly Named Twisted Fister stupidly chose veteran hasher dBASED as his mentor for his first haring venture.   They brought the hash to my neck of the woods, to Jia Tella’s Next Door bar in Scotts Valley.   

What do I remember about the trail?  Not much.  It was a mixture of neighborhood streets, a fair amount of shiggy, hills, and believe it or not, I didn’t get lost.  and neither did the rest of the pack.

All hashers were accounted for at beer check.  We all assumed beer check would be in the parking lot of dBASED’s office, but we passed through the parking lot and headed down the street.   Twisted Fister paid off a little kid to tell hashers to go the wrong way at a check.  I got suckered into the little bastard’s lie, and found a false trail.  There was only one other way to go, so the pack headed up a hill and quickly found beer check.  We didn’t stay there too long because we were getting eaten alive by bugs.

Religion was in the parking lot of dBASED’d office.  Accuprick was RA, and appointed newly named The Human Pube and his Beer Fairy.  Thmp-Thmp was called up for not remembering the words to the song he chose for the Beer Fairy.  Plastic Pussy and Slonad were called up for getting bit by mosquitos on trail.  dBASED also drank because apparently the mosquitos don’t bite him.  He was accused of smelling so bad that even the mosquitos don’t like him.  His Co-Hare joined him for his down down.  Twat did you Say? was called up for not paying attention.  She has been distracted working hard on finishing her thesis.  Princess Di (arrhea) was congratulated on completing her 69^th Surf City Hash!  Get a life!

We had another naming!  Twisted Fister did not divulge any useful dirt on his lovely wife, Just Christine.  Her first hash was on Valentine’s Day and at Religion she flashed the pack a glow in the dark mustache sticker above her snatch.   So she was named Mustsnatch!  Welcome to the hash! 

Princess Di (arrhea) was chastised for stealing a child’s princess hat from a fence post on trail.  Some little kid is probably crying right now and some pathetic mother is driving around looking for another hat.  Evidently no one told Twisted Fister what happens when you wear new shoes to the hash.  He was punished by drinking beer from one of his new shoes.  Nasty!

And last but not least, the Hares……………………..

See you wankers on Thursday!

On On,

Shallow Hole

P.S.  It’s time to go dress shopping!  The Surf City H3 Red Dress Run is Saturday May 11th at 3:00 pm at the Rush Inn.  More details on the Red Dress Run link.