Do you Remember way back to Hash 756? Occasional Rapist, Wicked Retahted, and Dang Fu Grip (acting as hash historian and RBCB) started us off at Castaways where they pour a pretty strong cocktail. D’BASED went around trying to get everyone to join Life 360 so we can all see where everyone is. He says it’s so we don’t lose anyone in the woods again. I think it’s an elaborate plan to snare hares who forget to sign out. Most will remember, but there’s going to be someone who doesn’t. It’s the long con. The hares were off! They told us to look out for a liquor check and some hidden facts about the Hash founder “G.” This hash fell on his birthday.
We all circled up out back. We had a surprise backslider, the curly haired offspring of Mother’s Little Feltcher and Sausage Slam. They came with stroller in tow. However, it wasn’t the stroller that slowed down the pack. It was out complete inability to solve the first check. We looked every conceivable direction, some people logged a full mile before we even found on two. We finally found the trail and the pack was off.
We found the liquor check out on the railroad tracks. It was some kind of pink strawberry mash (perfect for your scribe). There was the only fact I ended up seeing, but I’m told it wasn’t the first. We spent a lot of time on the tracks (hurray something new and different for us). We had to climb a ridiculous fence. Then we ended up going down toward Capitola Village. I’m sure that some people were a little skeptical when trail pointed down the wharf. Perhaps they remembered the YBF that caught Dog Breath and Twisted Fister last time we headed out this way. As it turns out, the first beer check was located down at the end of the Wharf at the Wharf House. There was only one employee for the whole front of the house and she didn’t give a whale’s fart about us. There were no pitchers, so the hares provided a few pints for us to share. But that’s ok, we could buy some cocktails! Or not. I’m not sure who you had to blow to get a drink around there, but we all wondered off before figuring it out.
We gave the hares a few minutes to set the rest of the trail and then followed them down the coast. The final beer check was at Privates Beach. Dung Fu Grip and Dog Breath stripped down to swim in the uncharacteristically warm Santa Cruz water. Then we dragged the coolers back up the stairs and headed to Wicked’s casa for religion.
There was a nice spread with chips and dip and home made hash courtesy of Dung Fu Grip. We sat around a roaring camp fire enjoying some well deserved beer. Timmy served as RA and picked Twisted Fister as Beer Fairy. Hugh Heifer got called up for yelling on-on when she should have said on-one back at that first check that confused us so much. Wicked had invited a few virgins, and not told them anything (of course). Virgin Randy did the whole trail in flip flops. Both Virgin Randy and Virgin Preacher told jokes. Then it was time to call up the hares!

Here are Dung Fu Grip’s fun facts about our founder:

Here are my fun facts in order of appearance:

1. Hashing is based on the British school game “Hare and Hounds” or the Paper Chase c.1800
2. Modern Hashing originated in late 1938 in what is now Malaysia, organized by Albert Stephen Ignatius Gispert (G) and 11 others
3. The “Hash House Harriers” take their name from the Royal Selangor Club, or “Hash House” where several hashers lived
4. The original 4 tenants of hashing are:
1. To promote physical fitness among our members
2. To get rid of weekend hangovers
3. To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer
4. To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel
5. G was killed in action on 11 February 1943. However, the original hashers reformed after the war and the second kennel was created in 1962, and spreading from there.

The inner historian would like to point out that this is a drastically simplified version of the events, and liberties were taken to increase the prominence of G, as while he is the holy martyr of half-mindedness, he was merely a first amongst equals in the original hash house.