Twas’ the night before Halloweenie, some half minds set out to hash
Bunch of creepers end up showing, some of them got a bit smashed
Hash 769 will never live up to it’s expectations but there was plenty of trick or treating along the way.
We started out at the home of Occasional Rapist and dBASED, where hashers showed up in costumes ranging from innocent cuddly ones such as Slow Nad’s bunny get-up and the more frightening Cock Throbbin’s Banshee. While mingling I overheard Stub Rub and Summer’s Yeast having the old spit or swallow argument, she immediately started whining so I stopped listening and took off for the table of refreshments provided, which I think was just Occasional and dBASE trying to clean out their fridge before taking off for Vegas for the next few days.
Hares Shallow Hole and Occasional Rapist soon took off, but not before making big promises of a good time to be had. LIARS!! Soon after the pack circled up we came to our first check, where we found it to be littered with what I believe the hares intended to be candy. It looked to me like candle wax in the shape of pumpkins, but I saw several hashers picking these balls of wax up off the ground and eating them while raving about their deliciousness.
Once setting into trail, one couldn’t help but notice how dark it was. Flashlights! I’m not good at the memory game either guys, so I get it! Not only is it difficult to remember what day of the week the hash is on, then to make sure you aren’t arrested for indecent exposure while out (Just Foot Pussy pushed the envelope on this one this week) and to bring your $8 but make sure you remember that flashlight too! Put it in your car, write on your door, do something you half-mind!
The hares had tricks in store for us to go along with their balls of wax. A first attempt at scaring us by dBASED, Pink Cherry Licker, Hugh Heifer and Fap Jack was quite unsuccessful as the pack was pretty grouped up still. Then, later down trail while Cock Throbbin’ and I were running and having some good old racist conversation thinking no one was around, dBASED jumped out from behind a tree and nearly had both of us climbing up it!
Trail wrapped us down into the Capitola Esplanade and up a mighty little hill to a back check that lead us back into a little single track dirt trail then into liquor check. The Jello Shots at LC were quite a hit, as hashers perhaps hung out here a bit longer than the normal LC and had an extra shot or two and then maybe couldn’t stand up to do down-downs during religion, I’m not mentioning any names (Pink Cherry Licker). Trail was a little difficult to find leaving LC but as tough as Puff might want us to think he is, he quite delicately helped both myself and Cock Throbbin over the wooden fence leaving the park, he said it looked like we were struggling, I think he just wanted to align himself properly for up-skirt photos he takes for his personal collection.
As we returned into residential area, we were reminded how much Santa Cruz loves Halloween with many houses set up more elaborate than most homes at Christmas. Before long we were back to where we started and we all found our way to the beer. While waiting for the entire pack to show up hashers were HOT and pieces of costumes started coming off, one of these was Just Kory’s wig. When the wig came off the heat just started releasing from his body and his head actually started to steam! Big, huge clouds of steam were pouring off the top of this guy’s head!
Off to religion we go! All the hashers snuggled into the backyard of the starting point and soon Dung Fu took off as RA in his party animal costume, selecting Just Foot Pussy as Beer Fairy in his very appropriate Umbrella Girl costume. Did anyone else notice his need to continually show us his silver under-shorts?
I can’t even remember how it happened but Grocho Cocks was called up more or less tell us a story about an adventure he and Tits N’ Game went on to buy him some underwear. He’s telling the story and all of a sudden he has lifted up his costume and showed us his purchase which didn’t include anything to cover his trunk! Halloweenie was starting to live up to it’s name already.
We quickly moved onto the costume contest, contestants included Scarilyn Monroe and her Dapper date, a skeleton Dirk Diggler and likely a few others that I forgot. Here is where Puff and I start to have a difference of opinion, I believe the winner was Dirk Diggler, who lost his diggler out on trail, was the winner but Puff lists Hugh as the winner?
What does it matter? There is about to be more festive Halloweenie action! Next order of business was to get our fresh meat up there, Virgin Frank, who came dressed as Wayne with his best Party Time attitude and gave us ladies quite the show with a back and front flash as his Halloweenie treat for us. Tits’ says he’s a nudist, this guy will come in handy for the rare but sought after package checks.
Let’s not forget that we had a naming as well, Just Kory! Here is the next point where puff and I dis-agree. The picked Just Kory over with fascinating questions which seemed to always have similar answers relating to sheep and gonorrhea. He was making this too easy on us, so we quickly sent him away. Now let’s all recall to earlier in the story, where we have just finished trail, where Kory’s head is steaming wildly… don’t think this tid-bit wasn’t mentioned during discussion. We got it down to two names “Screw Ewe” and “Steamy Ba-a-norrhea”, the pack voted and as I recall it Steamy Ba-a-norhhea was the winner but Puff’s age is getting to him and he wrote Steamy Vonorhhea. How will we ever know?
Closing announcements were made about upcoming AGM, where Dung Fu tried to get me to do a slideshow that never really existed and then we were swiftly kicked out as our hosts spoke loudly of their early wake up time the next morning. Ya, ya… we get the picture.
And that about wraps it up folks!
On on,
Ho to Housewife