Hash # 776 started at the comfy abode of Occassional Rapist and dBASED where they decorated us with glitter and sparkle galore to make sure we were decked out for their Picture Hash. A few backsliders decided to show their faces, since it was the holidays and all. We were “blessed” with the company of Snapping Twat, Tiny Wanker and Dog Breath; all of which clearly had to be pulled away from whatever “better” things they normally partake in on Thursday nights.

Before taking off, hares Occassional and dBASED and Hot Wheels gave some confusing directions and ended it with “you’ll figure it out”. Apparently they forgot what half-minds we are. Lots of questions went un-answered and then they took off…. in their cars….

The first photo we received was of a place right across the street where everyone parked, where we were quicly brought up onto AJ’s Natural Foods on Soquel before heading over to the Cabrillo Campus. It was a chilly evening right before the holiday break but the campus was still hopping with students finishing up finals and professors slipping out to their cars to entertain themselves with holiday libations.

Once on the Cabrillo Campus we got a nice tour of the flat side of campus, visiting the Senson House then a trip over to the recietal hall, where everyone got frowny faces when we opened up the paper and it was the horticulture center. Thmp-thmp pointed up to some very tiny lights on the top of a very large hill….. On up half-minds. We weaved through the campus and climbed stairs and hills on our way to the Horticulture Center, telling each other this MUST be where the liquor check is. It would be cruel of the hares to send us up this big hill and not reward us. As we reached the top, we see Hot Wheels smiling at us and simply hands us the next picture… no mention of a LC anywhere. Since we were kind of winded from coming up the hill we decided to wait for some of the other hashers to join us, before headed right back down the hill.

Once the hares had given us the full Cabrillo tour, complete with the Sheriff’s Office (which I’m shocked more of you wankers didn’t know the location of from all your debauchery) we were lead over to Bangkok West for beer near. While we socialized we noticed a few hashers joined us on trail that weren’t there at the start. Pink Cherry Liquor and Fap Jack decided to try to get some free drinks in them at PCL’s holiday party before joining the hash. Dung Fu showed up somewhere along trail with his bicycle in tote… which was later thrown in the hedges by Dog Breath. After a quick beer we all headed back to Occassional and dBASED’s place for a warm religon.

Snapping Twat was elected as beer fairy by Accuprick and soon the festivities were underway. First order of business was to discuss the growing black slime in the religion chalices. TIMMY was going by that old theory that alcohol kills anything and decided it would be OK not to rinse them after use. He was obviously given a down-down for his lack of housekeeping skills.
Late arrivers Dung Fu, PCL and Fap Jack were all given down-downs for their tardiness and Dog Breath for hiding Dung Fu’s bike in the hedges.

Princess Di(arrhea) celebrated her 150th hash analversary with her joyous expression of excitement “balls deep!”.

Myself, Ho to Housewife, and Hugh Heifer did a simultaneous down-down. Hugh was punished for bailing early on us and myself for loving on my chicken puppet.

Last order of official business was to name Just Randy. Now, many of you may remember this jolly fellow who returned to us a few weeks ago after a rough first hash he had back in July. He was introduced to the hash by Wicked Retahted and of course, given very little info. “You know man, we just walk around and drink…” is how I envision it went. Well, what local would do this in anything other than flip flops? And this is how Just Randy showed up to his first hash, which crossed rocks and railroads. Needless to say, he needed months to heal from that trauma and came back for more. After debating between “wicked made me cum” and “flip flop on the rocks”, Just Randy was voted to be called “Flip Flop on the Rocks”

The pig bowl had a little extra beer after all business was attended to, so Dog Breath was brought up as the biggest pig of the group to drink up the mess.

And the hares! Our generous hares Occassional Rapist, dBASED and Hot Wheels (who ducked out of photos with great timing) were shamed for the campus tour, sheriff station visit and lack of liquor check on trail.

On On,

Ho To Housewife